***I’d like to bring this Ya Ya Sisterhood fellowship meeting to order. All rise, all sit***
I have been wondering since I was just a wee little precious Ya Ya, with knee high green girl scout socks, why we only stock our metaphoric cookie jar with Do-si-Dos? Don’t the vast array of cookies actually taste better when you’ve sampled your fair share of thin mints, samoas, and trefoils? Does anybody gathered here today know why tagalongs only comprise 13% of the total girl scout cookie sales?
***A.D.D deactivate and Simmer down***
Hi, I wasn’t talking to myself. We have someone here named A.D.D. And they choose to remain anonymous.
as i was saying…
What I’d like to propose is that all the Ya Ya sisters take a moment to tarry with one another and examine why we must DATE ONE rusty butt ass man at a time who has not even proven that he can be trusted with our telephone number, much less exclusivity albeit oneway since many of our happy asses just like implications that don’t involve an actual understanding or our own intution.
Further, I’d like to emphasize that the sexua#l revolution has long departed us. We aren’t trying to screw like men, but rather date like them. In fact, I believe its even better if we at least have three men on rotation while keeping our legs closed.
I’m tired of reading dear John internet letters that describe desperate women slowing the party down for a man she met last week, and then wondering why he doesn’t call. Would she really give a good hotdam#n if he called, particularly if she had other men on the back burner who were calling (a pair and a spare)?
Can’t men sense desperation? Can’t men sense that they’re your be all and end all? And don’t said men act accordingly-given the lack of options you exhibit? (does anybody miss being a girl scout?)
**YaYa meeting adjourned**
(note: fit club stuff will be added and linked to the top page later today)
Our inspiration (as Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’) will be, Gwen Verdon and her “Walk it Outers” (w/ Jim Jones- I LOVE HIM).
I present to you, The Metamucil “Mexican Breakfast” version of our fit club inspiration ENJOY:
222 Comments
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:24 am
***sneaking in, looking around ok no one is here, so I’m saying what I want***
I don’t think we should date one rusty butt (works cite Comeback) man. I personally believe that it is nice to have two or three take you out at a time. Who wants to be caught with nothing to do.
Beyond this, like Comeback, I am starting to see that text messages are the devil. Negro what the he#ll is you doing you can’t pick up the phone for a 90 second convo. Yes 90 seconds will make me happy, because well I gotta give other dude his time too.
And I’m all for not screwing like men…that’s too much work and there’s too d@mn much going around to risk it. Thereby we should keep this to a minimum or remain celibate.
I miss you celibacy clubbers.
Antyways….I do think men can sense desperation and when they do women end up in some screwed up situations. We fall in love for sex or think that we can use sex as the basis of a relationship.
People are just going to have to stop having relations without the ships.
Just my interpretation…
PS
i MISS being a girl scout ;o)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 7:12 am
if you miss being a girlscout… get involved. Im older than you and I am in boyscouts. you dont think small black women need your time?
comeback, try dating good men insted of rusty butt ones…. we make your time more worthwhile.
even dates i had with sistas who didnt make it, none of them ever said it wasnt worth it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 7:39 am
” I miss you celibacy clubbers.”
the door to the church is always open, Jac.
“I am starting to see that text messages are the devil. Negro what the he#ll is you doing you can’t pick up the phone for a 90 second convo. ”
easy solution…don’t reply. Hardest solution (cutting off your noes to spite your face) disconnecting the text feature from your phone. I actually am still getting some texts. But its a signaling issue with my carrier. But I choose to not respond if the convo warrants a simple call.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 7:42 am
“if you miss being a girlscout… get involved. ”
I love how you make assumptions. Girl Scouts ISN”T just about service. It was also about being with like minded girls. I also learned alot about friendships there.
“comeback, try dating good men insted of rusty butt ones”
I am. This post was partly in jest. But I guess if it would make you feel better that I don’t –carry on.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 7:44 am
I need to ponder this…….
ill be back!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 8:06 am
ponder away Mik..but please know that a man is multi-tasking you. He may have preference to his pair and spare. Men do very well at NOT slowing the party down until they are good and dam@n ready, and have sampled everything it is that they think they should have.
The rationale is the same. When you have less options, your judgement becomes totally impaired.
but I think its a woman’s inclination to nest. All Im saying is dont bring a serpent to your cubby hole.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 8:14 am
Good Morning Everyone,
I just don’t understand why women do this. Quite a few women I dated I told or encouraged them to see other people. I really don’t want to deal with somebody like that. That means they have too much time for me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 8:46 am
Humble I agree. Im not talking about once the mutual decision has been made to ONLY see each other. But in terms of a man, I’m wondering about him if he’s not talking to other women esp. in the very beginning.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 8:50 am
“People are just going to have to stop having relations without the ships.”
And let the chuuuch say Amen.
I agree with everything that was said.
Humble, I think you are the minority… a man who only wants to date one woman at a time??? This is something you’d have to voice after you decide this is the girl you want to “get to know,” and see where her head was at. I personally, would jump for joy.
Dating like a man was never in my history, but b/c of so many times being hurt or disappointed after figuring I was not the only one, I am not an advocate to “dating like a man.”
Sex makes things messy.. I do believe 90% of my dating woes is solved by celibacy… feelings get involved during sex but is not neccesarily the same for men.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 8:54 am
Hi Nick
“Humble, I think you are the minority”
so im confused now…what is Humble actually sayin, is he for mutli-taskin dat azz or not?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 8:55 am
Ok I am back!
I guess I don’t to be VALIDATED by a bunch of men. I’d just rather continue my search for one good one, i thought that was the point?? I don’t think a woman should be throwing in the towel for a guy she met last week, but to be out dating a bunch of men, just because men do it to, well…… momma always said just because everybody jumps off the bridge doesn’t mean you go with them….
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:09 am
further more I don’t have enough cute outfits in my closet yet to be on that many dates!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:11 am
“I guess I don’t to be VALIDATED by a bunch of men.”
I don’t think its about validation. Its about the act of the selection. That’s too much pressure really to put on one man on a FIRST date. “So, you’re the one. Let’s play pretend boyfriend girlfriend for a week and see where it goes”.
I totally believe in the big bang. Sometimes love happens. Like Boom. But in the interim while you’re waiting for heaven and earth to be formed. Why play pretend. How do you even know what you like without a frame of reference.
Do you like a man whose buttons are easily pushed or not? Is he kind? Is he cheap? RELATIVE TO WHAT??? you can’t know these things without “sampeling the wares”.
its not really about I’m doing it because he is. My suggestion is the real benefit a man gains from having CHOICES.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:11 am
@Comeback: Oops… I just read it again. LOL. See what happens when you speed read???? You miss IMPORTANT ish.
Anywho, And recant my whole statement to you Humble. LOL
Yes, Comeback, you are right.. He doesn’t want a woman to only date him.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:13 am
P.S. I got about 10,000 things do accomplish b/f I leave today, so I’ll be checkin in and out… if I keep the blogs up all day, all I’ll keep doing is hitting refresh. LOL.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:18 am
ROTFLMAO!!!! That video was HI-LARRY-US!
Ok, now to the topic at hand, well you all know that this isn’t my issue. I sent good morning text to like 4 guys this morning…variety is the spice of life and sh*t.
I agree that you shouldn’t limit yourself to just one man until you’re ready to pursue something a little more serious AND you both agree that’s what you would prefer. I don’t think you should be giving all of your time to one man when he’s spreading the wealth around(wk cite: Obama).
Besides if you have more than one man on the brain you tend to be less connected emotionally to any one person if they decide to bounce out. I’m in agreeance with Comeback, you shouldn’t be sleeping with all of them but you should definitely keep your options open b/c people lose interest, bottom line. Don’t be stuck without a fall back.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:22 am
I don’t think men serial date due to different facades of personalities i think they serial date due to different facades of a*z
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:28 am
first…thanx for the vid…was bout to google Beyakis inspiration…but low and behold you got it!!!
2ndly…back in my young years (im 27) i was all for dating more than one rusty butt, but now im wanting more and really dont have the time to juggle more than one rusty butt, so i deprive myself & only fool with Mr. Rusty Butt Extrodinaire, Marius!!! & outside of time, i just dont have the desire to deal with more than one…is that ok???
BUT sweet jesus, when this recession ends (hahaha…cuz it aint) i swear, im quiting my second job and shall be on the prowl for more than one rusty butt!!!
3rdly…hey Dee, hey Jac!!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:33 am
I think women should do what feels natural and comfortable to them. If you feel best dating one man at a time, then do that. Too many woman change their whole gameplan off a bad experience. You gave your time to one man, it didnt work out, you’re hurt, so now you’re bad@ss and you can date three men. Well now you just made it three times more likely to get hurt again.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:35 am
Yep Heroes, thats really whats goingz on….
further more its costly to serial date, dispite what men think it takes physical prep as mell as mental prep, I just can only take one rusty butt at a time, it takes 3 months to recoupe from dates of disaster!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:36 am
coffee break..Hi Tea/TMV/No More.. I’ll beback
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 9:36 am
well* is what i meant to say, these words are way to big on my screen today!! comeback u in this new design of yours got my font on magnifying glass!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:01 am
Hey Peeps….
@No more heroes… You pretty much summed everything up…..
But I am pretty much a dater of one person at a time… If I really want to give it a chance than I need to be devoted to it…. I would spread myself thin with the serial dating…
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:02 am
” so now you’re bad@ss and you can date three men. Well now you just made it three times more likely to get hurt again.”
whatever No, i don’t believe this. I;ve been foot loose fancy free and single for almost six months now. To me its just good dating economics. How can three men hurt you, when a) your approach is measured and balance b) and you’re NOT sleeping with them all.
Sounds like men don’t like to hear women preach the gospel of options.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:03 am
“Hey Peeps….
@No more heroes… You pretty much summed everything up…..
But I am pretty much a dater of one person at a time… If I really want to give it a chance than I need to be devoted to it…. I would spread myself thin with the serial dating…”
@ 80s NOT YOU TOO…
oh lord..I didn’t even get my coffee yet. Imma need a QUAD shot today. Yall ladies are KILLING ME.
@ Teacia and TMV Amen and Amen. I see the ladies are split here. Not sure exactly why? This is a sad day in Denmark.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:05 am
Hey TeenaMarie…Hey No More….and good morning to everyone else.
@No More: I beg to differ, b/c you can’t get as emotionally involved when dating 3 men…yeah you can like them a little, but if one decides to bounce you got two more left and can begin looking for other dude’s replacement.
But this works for me, it doesn’t work for everyone…I’ve been juggling men since my first year of college 11 years ago and it’s only gotten easier. I still don’t think women should put all of their eggs in one basket, not EVER…or until he “puts a ring on it.”
Trust me it works, men like the be winners and if they know theirs a competition they will step their game up…the only problem is that some of them slip back into their comfort zone once they know they’ve won and start showing their asses…to those men I say…DO BETTER!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:08 am
I tell women to date around all the time. The key is to know when your capable of dating around and when youre just built for one at a time. If you know youre a sucka for love how in the heck are you going to date around? If your approach wasnt measured and balance with one man, how does it get that way with more? Im not saying it isnt good advice, but better advice would be to check and see whether youre getting too involved to quickly with any man. Its easier said than done to be like, “oh I just want fall for him as quickly”.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:08 am
…a little grammatical error there folks, my bad.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:12 am
Good Morning All,
Well I believe in multi-tasking. Why you ask? Because I get caught up in analyzing one nagga and then i feel as though I am pressed but really I’m just bored. So to keep my A.D.D in check I multi-task until a gentlemen and I decide we want to move foward with a relationship..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:12 am
@Teacia: Im not diagreeing with the concept of dating around, but too many women think they can do it just because men can do it and its really not that simple. You have to make a change and commit in your mind that you really dont give a F. Women say that, until they meet that new ni&&a then the process begins all over agin. Its the same way for men. If a man is used to getting caught up emotionally over a woman quickly then dating more of them at the same time isnt going to make it easier on him.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:13 am
No More I’m a HUGE sucka for love…I love everything about it, including being in it…but I’m also a realist and I know that most men aren’t as easily swayed by the prospect of loving and being loved. So I’m going to keep my options open…and when a guy and I are on the same page mentally and emotionally the others get the boot…it’s the way it should be.
I can’t for the life of me understand how accepting an occasional date, or taking a phone call or two here or there is spreading yourself too thin. If you’re busy, then you’re busy and it will motivate the man more to get in where he fits in. ALL of the dating books prescribe for women to keep their options and dating calendars open. If you date 10 men, there is bound to be one good one in there…the possibilities are not as great when you date only one.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:16 am
” You have to make a change and commit in your mind that you really dont give a F.”
Again I disagree. That is the way men do it, for a woman you have to commit in your mind that I’m worth happiness and I will date around until I have it. I will not look for in in places where it obviously doesn’t exist and I will not surrender myself to the the notion that I can not date unless I am completely emotionally detached.
That my dear sir is setting oneself up for failure because ALL women give a f*ck, we just have to know how to channel the energy into something more stable and balanced.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:17 am
I agree with Heroes and Teacia, in that it is NOT for everyone, and you should know where you fit into it all. Technically I serial date but not because i need back ups upon back ups upon back ups, but I honestly am trying to find the one I like best to fit my ultimate goal of being in a monogamous relationship. For me its not about putting my eggs all in one basket but its about believing that the one basket I pick will fit all my eggs.
Dating so many people allows for to many possibilities, you give people 101 choices there aren’t ever going to decide on anything. Thats not to say settle but its about quality not quantity in this case for me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:20 am
I’m in love with love so I need to date around to make sure that I am not dating and falling for someone just cause I wanna be in love again.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:23 am
and is it just me or does it not take all of 10 minutes to figure out if you like someone or not?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:24 am
I think we are agreeing on the topic. I think my initial post sounded more against it then what I intended. I think women should date around. But I also think you have to have a particular mindset to be able to do it successfully, and its not something that comes overnight.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:27 am
@Comeback: I have tried to persuade girls to date other people while they were dating ME. So I have no problem with hearing this.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:28 am
So Heroes why do you serial date?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:29 am
Ok, so on some level we all agree…whew, now on to other stuff.
Mikki, it takes longer. I use to think that it only took 5 minutes…it’s true when it comes to lust, but not compatibility. Some things grow on you, and after getting to really know someone you begin to see them in a different light. It definitely takes longer than 10 minutes, but it also doesn’t take 6 months. I like to give men 30 days to see if I’m really interested, if I am I follow it to see where it leads(90 days before re-evaluating), if not I kindly let them know and keep it moving.
Timelines aren’t for everyone, but time is precious and I refuse to waste countless years of my life waiting on a man to “come around” to fully loving the way I deserve.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:30 am
@Comeback: the hurr is in and it looks FA-BO-LOUS!!! Why did I ever discard my long locks in the first place…oh yeah, a man. *sigh*
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:31 am
“Timelines aren’t for everyone, but time is precious and I refuse to waste countless years of my life waiting on a man to “come around” to fully loving the way I deserve.”
PREACH!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:39 am
@Anitra: Because I’m not ready to be in a serious relationship, i’m not “boyfriend material” (at least in my own opinion) and its more comfortable for me since I dont get involved easily.
@Teacia: I like locks, and Im upset at the man who told you to cut them.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:40 am
Naw hell nawl…we don’t agree ..sike..
@ teacia…good. Post some pics to your space.
@ jolie “I’m in love with love so I need to date around to make sure that I am not dating and falling for someone just cause I wanna be in love again.”
i feel this too.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:45 am
No More: lol, not dread locks…but my long hair, my hair was super long and i cut if all off after a breakup…kind of out with the old. And then I decided to grow it back, kind of like a new start but my ex was soooo in love with the short hair that I kept cutting it instead of growing it back.
Comeback: I will later today and will keep you posted.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:48 am
@No More Heroes
“I think women should do what feels natural and comfortable to them. If you feel best dating one man at a time, then do that. Too many woman change their whole gameplan off a bad experience. You gave your time to one man, it didnt work out, you’re hurt, so now you’re bad@ss and you can date three men. Well now you just made it three times more likely to get hurt again.”
I have seen this TOO many times. Some women need to learn to stay in their lane. If you are not built for it don’t do it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:50 am
First things first. I was a Girl Scout and trefoils were and are still my favorite.
Now on to the next topic:
Comeback Girl—here’s another high five. We need to start a movement—Ladies, do not—repeat–do not commit to a man who is not committed to you. People have put it in women’s mind that we must date only one guy at a time—that’s a bunch of hogwash. Why SETTLE down with one guy when you don’t know if he’s really worthy of your time. Get to know the man and you can not get to know him on just a few dates and then determine he’s the one you want to cut off all other men for.
Don’t settle and don’t commit to the first joker who holds your interest for more than a minute.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:51 am
“Get to know the man and you can not get to know him on just a few dates and then determine he’s the one you want to cut off all other men for.
Don’t settle and don’t commit to the first joker who holds your interest for more than a minute.”
Amen Sheila…Amen.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:54 am
“I’d just rather continue my search for one good one, i thought that was the point?? ”
Mikki, how are you going to find that one good one if you don’t meet a variety of men. Just because a man looks good on the surface, doesn’t mean he’s a good one. The key is to date wisely and that means you shouldn’t be closing off other options for a guy you don’t really know. Another mistake I see some women make they throw sex into the equation too soon. Contrary to what the masses might say, sex changes the dynamics of a relationship and can make your vision cloudy when it comes to seeing the man for what he truly is. If the sex is good, some women will ignore other important things and before you know it, you’re caught up in a relationship that you really don’t want to be in and then wonder how you got there.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:56 am
“Well I believe in multi-tasking. Why you ask? Because I get caught up in analyzing one nagga and then i feel as though I am pressed but really I’m just bored. So to keep my A.D.D in check I multi-task until a gentlemen and I decide we want to move foward with a relationship..”
This is one of the reasons why I want women that multi-task. I don’t get this with some women. If I am bored I read, surf the internet, listen to music, etc. But some women have nagged the HELL out of me when they are bored. When i’m bored I don’t F with people. Why do some women bug the hell out of dudes when they are bored?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:00 am
Teacia, your scenerio I wrote about in my book Paige’s Web. I got a few emails from people saying they couldn’t believe women dated more than one man at a time without committing–I’m like yes, some of us do because unless both parties are willing to commit, it doesn’t make sense to tie yourself down. I think the misconception folks have is if you multiple date that you’re sleeping with all the guys and that is not true. Most women who I know date multiple guys only sleep with one of the guys.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:02 am
“When i’m bored I don’t F with people. Why do some women bug the hell out of dudes when they are bored?”
Humble.. I have no clue. The other day I was bored and randomly started texting guys in my phone with, “whatcha doing.”
Every single one replied.. and it wasnt because I wanted to talk to them .. I was just bored and wanted a lil attention.. and I did all this while surfing the internet, listening to music and reading.. lol
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:03 am
“Why do some women bug the hell out of dudes when they are bored?”
Humble I don’t know
Shelia I understand what you all are saying 100%. I don’t think I have a true problem with giving situations time.
That was the main reason for not having sex. thats how i deal with the *eggs n one basket issues*
for others its something else but thats the thing that works for me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:03 am
since sex was my BIGGEST issue thats the one i decided to tackle, and its been all good ever since.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:04 am
Dang ya’ll east coasters makin me get up all early an ish just to keep up on comments.
I completely agree Comeback. I see no reason why a girl must date one guy at a time… until ya’ll sit down and have that conversation of “we are exclusive” no reason to put all your eggs in one basket.
Kinda funny you bring this up. I was just arguing with a friend about this… i told him tech support guy at work was cute and i wanted to give him my number, then the next day i met another guy and was like “dang i need to talk to him” and my male friend got all high and mighty “you just gave another dude your number you gonna date everyone”
It’s interesting to me how guys think it’s okay for them to date more than one woman at a time but then say things like “comeback, try dating good men insted of rusty butt ones…. we make your time more worthwhile.”
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:05 am
I challenge each single woman on here (who isn’t doing it already) to try it Comeback’s way. I truly think you will be better off because you are taking control of your dating life and not giving the control to some guy you don’t know. If you’re single and not in a committed relationship, you don’t owe a guy an explanation on how you spend your spare time and truthfully, he really doesn’t owe you one either. Now once you get into a committed relationship, then yes, that changes, but in the meantime, have fun.
Comeback I need to get off your site so I can get some work done…lol
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:07 am
Sheila…let me find out you writing books based on my life…where are my royalties mam, lol.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:10 am
Jolie I do that too, text a bunch of men and roll with the responses…all while working, studying, blogging, and surfing the web. I’m an attention wh*re though and I know it.
…And there’s always some unsuspecting male ready and willing to give it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:10 am
@Shelia
“I think the misconception folks have is if you multiple date that you’re sleeping with all the guys and that is not true”
I agree. But I would be lying if I said I haven’t met a few women that slept with the majority of dudes they dated.
“I’m like yes, some of us do because unless both parties are willing to commit, it doesn’t make sense to tie yourself down.”
And this is the reason why I believe in multi-tasking. When I was out there I thought that is was only fair and honest that I did this. The problem is that I lost out on a lot of a*s because of multi-tasking. A dude that doesn’t admit to multi-tasking is usually the dude getting more sex. He is also the the one with drama.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:13 am
This is a response from a man!!
What men do regarding dating multiple women with the intension of seeing
In my opinion if you have interest in a
which woman is a better fit is wrong… Now spending time with a friend
(platonic) is okay.
particular woman, why would you want to split time with her and other
women? The truth of the matter is you can’t “really” get to know someone
when you’re dating different people. You may see differences in
personality however the only way to really get to know someone is
spending time with them. It doesn’t take that long to find out if a
person is a good match for you if you’re following Christian principles.
Below are three.
1. Being equally yoked: which means you both have a strong relationship
with
God and like convictions. For example if I go to church regularly and
you
don’t go at all then there is a conflict of interest here. Lol…
2. Refraining from fornication: Everyone knows that sex changes things.
Things you wouldn’t normally put up with you tend to let slide if
it’s
good to you. Besides, why buy a cow when you can get the milk for
free?
3. Commitment: Do I need to comment on this? Lol…
Side bar: I would also like to add that you shouldn’t reveal too much
about your likes and dislikes because people can conform to your ideals
then one day they come out the box on you and you’re wondering why…
When all they did was follow your playbook to the letter. Since they
have you now there is no need to fake the funk anymore. I believe that
some things you learn about a person should happen naturally and not
with 20 questions.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:14 am
@ Humble “I have seen this TOO many times. Some women need to learn to stay in their lane. If you are not built for it don’t do it.”
I do not endorse this message. Men can’t figure out if they like our liberated black butts or not. Its not a lane thing. Its a sane one. How hard is it to go out with Rob on Friday, Mike on Sat, and Jim on Sunday. I don’t believe that men should be used as meal tickets. Its not to get free stuff. But it is to gain a better perspective on HOW MEN THINK, WHAT YOU LIKE, AND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
@ Shelia “how are you going to find that one good one if you don’t meet a variety of men. Just because a man looks good on the surface, doesn’t mean he’s a good one.”…shaking my rosary beads on this message. cause its the truth!!!
@ QB “It’s interesting to me how guys think it’s okay for them to date more than one woman at a time but then say things like “comeback, try dating good men insted of rusty butt ones…. we make your time more worthwhile.””
I’m glad you peepin this tom foolery. Men don’t like the shy$t at all. But they doin the very same thing, in the quise of…there’s more of me than there is of you. Bull fykin shyt.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:15 am
does anybody like my walk it out tribute to our fit club??
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:16 am
we love your walk it out tribute to fit club
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:19 am
That video was insane…I wanted to shut it off(because it just made sense too) but I had to watch it all the way to the end…lol.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:20 am
“1. Being equally yoked: which means you both have a strong relationship
with
God and like convictions. For example if I go to church regularly and
you
don’t go at all then there is a conflict of interest here. Lol…”
Yeah ok. I got a couple of stories of women that I left alone because they “had a strong relationship with God”. Because I respected that I missed out on it. I can tell you that the dudes with strong relationships didn’t miss out on it. lol
“2. Refraining from fornication: Everyone knows that sex changes things.
Things you wouldn’t normally put up with you tend to let slide if
it’s
good to you. Besides, why buy a cow when you can get the milk for
free?
refer to number one
“Commitment: Do I need to comment on this? Lol…”
How would you know to do this if you haven’t dealt with that many people? The previous criteria are not grounds to commit to someone.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:22 am
@ Q thanks..that’s our theme song now.
@Mik “What men do regarding dating multiple women with the intension of seeing
which woman is a better fit is wrong…”
WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
i mean are you for real?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:26 am
@Comeback
“I do not endorse this message. Men can’t figure out if they like our liberated black butts or not. Its not a lane thing. Its a sane one. How hard is it to go out with Rob on Friday, Mike on Sat, and Jim on Sunday. I don’t believe that men should be used as meal tickets. Its not to get free stuff. But it is to gain a better perspective on HOW MEN THINK, WHAT YOU LIKE, AND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.”
I cosign what you say 100%. I was coming from the viewpoint that some women try to emulate the worse characteristics of men when they multi-task. I remember one girl I use to talk to. She called the dudes she had sex with and left alone victims. LOL. I was like victims? You did them a favor. You aren’t getting back at them you are doing them a favor.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:30 am
“Men can’t figure out if they like our liberated black butts or not. ”
I love liberated women. For the record I am a feminist.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:31 am
@ Hum
“I love liberated women. For the record I am a feminist.”
I don’t believe you. LOL
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:34 am
@Comeback
“I don’t believe you. LOL”
Why?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:34 am
“I love liberated women. For the record I am a feminist.”
LOL @ Humble
When you sleep with them you’re doing them a favor, that is unless they actually start catching feelings. I’m an advocate of doing what feels natural and pinning your hopes on one man to make it happen just doesn’t.
Okay, now c/s real quick….Flo is f*cking up my progress. I’ve been eating chocolate for the last 2 days…chocolate debbie cakes, chocolate cookies, chocolate candy bars…when will the madness end?!?!? Ok, in 3 days but STILL!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:37 am
Wow Teacia SLOWWWW IT DOWN!!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:37 am
Did I mention how fabulous I look bloated and all…now that’s skills, lmao.
Let me do some work over here. Later yall.
And where the h-e double l is Why So…did he not get the memo?!?!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:39 am
Mikki it’s all I’m eating though…I feel so guilty afterwards that I don’t eat anything else…no real nourishment, so my calorie intake is still low…fat intake is another story.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:39 am
Can I be honest Humble?
***and the crowd says…”aint that what you do?”
LOL
You and No…are pandering partially to the vagin%a. One minute you tellin us to stay in our lane and the next…its all good in the hood.
i mean really …can one of yall pick either side of an arguement and just stay there.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:41 am
@Teacia
“When you sleep with them you’re doing them a favor, that is unless they actually start catching feelings. ”
Is that how you honestly feel.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:42 am
” h-e double l is Why So…did he not get the memo?!?!”
@ Teacia..Why so doesn’t come to this part of town…you just now figuring that out?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:46 am
This video was hilarious..
Checkin in on lunch. Massa is doing the most today at work. LOL
I can’t catch up on comments… I know I’m way behind.
Eating this lean Cuisine… looking at B’s video again for ya ya fit club inspiration!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:49 am
@Comeback
“You and No…are pandering partially to the vagin%a. One minute you tellin us to stay in our lane and the next…its all good in the hood.
i mean really …can one of yall pick either side of an arguement and just stay there.”
I’m not pandering to anyone. I think you are use to being pandered to. I have been genuine in every statement. The majority of the women in my family never waited of a man to do s**t for them. My mother made more money than my father. My grandmother was a reverend. How can I grow up seeing this and think any less? Would it make more sense for me to say that although women are capable of doing for themselves that their role is still to serve men?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:50 am
“Sheila…let me find out you writing books based on my life…where are my royalties mam, lol.”
LOL. Teacia. Until I started writing, I had no idea why this clause was in books : “Any similarity is entirely coincidental.” Now I know. One of my books I thought was in left field and then this woman emailed me and said her best friend did the same thing my character did – faked a Las Vegas wedding. I almost fell out my chair when I got that email. Of course I had to interview her after getting over the shock. Reality is stranger than fiction.
“I would also like to add that you shouldn’t reveal too much
about your likes and dislikes because people can conform to your ideals
then one day they come out the box on you and you’re wondering why”
Mikki I agree. I usually don’t give a detailed answer when guys ask “what kind of man do you like?” I learned a long time ago that if you tell them, they will become that long enough to reel you in. I would rather the man be who he is going to be and let me discover if he’s who I want to spend more time with.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:52 am
“I love liberated women. For the record I am a feminist.”
LOL Humble One!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:56 am
Comeback, I just remembered to tell you how fab I think this blog is, what why so said was ever so true about someones down fall allowing for other people to do something. I like how you engage us in the topics very diverse and it requires incite from both male and female perspective and you leave it not so one sided.
loves it here!! and the no rules rocks!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:58 am
@teacia: why so is starting his own blog.. last i read over at sbm.net and not really coming around until he is finished … from what i read..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 11:59 am
@Comeback: How is it pandering to anyone when I said “Do what ever makes you feel comfortable”? If youre comfortable dating one at a time, and you know thats truly how you want it to be in your heart, then fine. If dating around fits you best, then fine. My side is do whatever makes you happy, its the side I take in most issues. But if you know damn well that you cannot handle dating more than one man at a time then DONT.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:01 pm
The thing I am sensing is you all assume that every man who dates around is doing it out of fun and opportunity…maybe a man dates around because he knows he has no desire nor the temperament to be in a relationship, and hes mature enough to remove himself from the situation rather than go out and pretend to be looking for something he’s not.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:07 pm
@Humble:
“She called the dudes she had sex with and left alone victims. LOL. I was like victims? You did them a favor. You aren’t getting back at them you are doing them a favor.”
Humble I was piggybacking off of your statement. We are not doing men any harm by sleeping with them and are indeed doing yall a favor unless you catch feelings, then we are doing harm if we use you up and bounce. I guess I should have been more clear.
@No More:
“maybe a man dates around because he knows he has no desire nor the temperament to be in a relationship, and hes mature enough to remove himself from the situation rather than go out and pretend to be looking for something he’s not.”
…what’s good for the goose is good for the gander baby boy.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:10 pm
@Jolie: yeah I know that, but he still comments every now and again.
@Mikki: someone said that to me yesterday…but that’s what happens when you lose yourself in a bunch of nonsense.
Comeback the funky fresh new vibe of your blog is great…I always read your posts and even ascribed to some of the feng shui techniques but the new vibe is definitely nice.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:11 pm
@Jolie: I just feel like we’re tagteaming the fellas…we need a few more to make it more balanced…maybe I could send a few of my platonic male friends this way.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:12 pm
@Teacia: Then it is what it is. Maybe yall meet men who dish it and not take it, but I never ask someone of something that I dont ask for myself. I cant be lumped in with these other men on that issue. If my freelance attitude doesnt sit well with a woman she can definitely tell me to keep it moving, and I will, and I’ll respect her for speaking up and doing her.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Good Morning again you guys.
Ok I scanned the comments cause I’m still a little woozy over here..
But I’z in agreeance. Umm…ok.
That’s all I will follow for now.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:17 pm
@ Mik: “and you leave it not so one sided. loves it here!! and the no rules rocks!!!”
Thanks Mikster. I dont have any rules..just as long as yall agree with me I fine. (SIKE!!!) actually you may know that i really vibe off of dissent. we all dont have to agree. Effective communication is when I come away with my mind changed, convicted or somewhere in the middle.
@ NO More my point is I’m not really understanding the whole “stay in your lane” approach to this subject. A woman having a bit of her own roster, is not rocket science. It only requires you keep dude’s name’s straight thats all. Stay in your lane??? It suggests all women can’t handle being emotionally powerful. I think the assumption scares the shyt out of men. Cause now they KNOW that its not all about them. The perfect proposition to many is the thought that he can do what he pleases ie “keep options open” and she’s just got him. The scales are so unbalanced here. And SOMEBODY always comes out the loser. And it usually isnt him.
@ Teacia “Comeback the funky fresh new vibe of your blog is great…I always read your posts and even ascribed to some of the feng shui techniques but the new vibe is definitely nice.”
thanks ..more fengshui to come esp. after taking my first reiki class last night. Thursday I will be a FIRST DEGREE reiki practicioner. Holla at your guru. sike. LOL
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:20 pm
@No More Heroes
“The thing I am sensing is you all assume that every man who dates around is doing it out of fun and opportunity…maybe a man dates around because he knows he has no desire nor the temperament to be in a relationship, and hes mature enough to remove himself from the situation rather than go out and pretend to be looking for something he’s not.”
COSIGN 100%. If you want female companionship but don’t want a relationship then what do you do? I get tired of getting played like I am a voracious pu**y hunter. Its like your wrong for being typical or atypical.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:21 pm
“Okay, now c/s real quick….Flo is f*cking up my progress. I’ve been eating chocolate for the last 2 days…chocolate debbie cakes, chocolate cookies, chocolate candy bars…when will the madness end?!?!? Ok, in 3 days but STILL!!!”
Check that sh!t.
Also, sleeping with men is doing them a favor? Now this might have been clarified, but really?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:25 pm
@no more:” If my freelance attitude doesnt sit well with a woman she can definitely tell me to keep it moving, and I will, and I’ll respect her for speaking up and doing her.”
I appreciate your honesty. some men are bs’ers and dont communicate how they will proceed in dating … at least you are upfront that way the lady can stay or run..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:25 pm
@Comeback: All women cant do what you suggest doing. Alot of women will absolutely not be able to handle dating more than one person at a time. Its not even about women and power, and men’s fear. I know men who cant even date multiple people. Some people just dont work that way. And about that “men being scared stuff”…
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Oh ok, well since I am free to speak freely and honestly here I forgot to add something when it was 4am. I think I might get both ends of spectrum. I have been able to both screw and date like a man. I personally could keep names straight and make them all feel equally loved. And well, it was alright. Then I disappear…that’s how it works.
I don’t know, I could just start doing it again but at this point I am enjoying the dating. I am trying to ascertain how to get the ship without the relations. So far, it is working very well
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:27 pm
…To me, women are already emotionally powerful! Yeah when dealing with emotions, sometimes someone has to lose, but these same emotions that enable women to lose are what makes women powerful to begin with. You dont need to date a bunch of men to feel liberated, you can do that alone.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:28 pm
@no more: your words are sexy dear..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:30 pm
“@Comeback: All women cant do what you suggest doing.”
this notion needs more people, birds, barn yard animals…
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:34 pm
@Jolie: Thanks, and same to you.
@Comeback: Well if every woman is capable of your plan, then every woman should be capable of removing themselves from abusive relationships, capable of not being jealous, and capable of standing up for themselves and not putting up with a man’s bullsh!t. Sounds easy, lets make it happen.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I need validation.
Someone go check out me and Nicki’s blog.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Heroes you are killin me softly……
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:41 pm
going to validate jac!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:43 pm
“@Comeback: Well if every woman is capable of your plan, then every woman should be capable of removing themselves from abusive relationships, capable of not being jealous, and capable of standing up for themselves and not putting up with a man’s bullsh!t. Sounds easy, lets make it happen”
drafting a yaya memo as I type this reply to you. So are you saying also that some men aren’t capable of dating multiple women at once. Are you saying that too?
This question is also for Humble too???
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:43 pm
@Comeback
“Stay in your lane??? It suggests all women can’t handle being emotionally powerful. I think the assumption scares the shyt out of men. ”
It does scare some men. I’ve known some of these dudes and they are insecure. Now I would be pandering to the women here if I said all women were capable of being emotionally powerful. I think me and No More can do a whole topic on stories of women that tried to do it and just end up getting herbed in the end.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Jac you are validated
**stamps Jac’s yaya parking ticket**
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:45 pm
@Comeback
“So are you saying also that some men aren’t capable of dating multiple women at once. Are you saying that too?”
Hell yes this is true. Some men are just as bad if not worse than women when it comes to dating multiple women.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:47 pm
“Hell yes this is true. Some men are just as bad if not worse than women when it comes to dating multiple women.
”
@ Humble ok…well the defense rests…OJ must throw himself upon the mercy of this court.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:47 pm
@Anitra: I hope thats in a good way.
@Comeback: Yes. I know some men who will get emotionally attached quicker than a woman normally would.
@Humble: I agree, insecure men are very scared of powerful women.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:49 pm
…but do we agree that these non-multitasking men are in the very silent minority.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:50 pm
@humble:
Standing up and applauding your honesty!
the two men who comment on here.. are the realist i’ve seen in a minute.. at least their words seem to be..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:50 pm
In a good way Heroes, I like your way of thinking. If it wasn’t for my disagreement with you hoe’n n trickin (no pun intended) id be trying to get on lol…..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:52 pm
“I agree, insecure men are very scared of powerful women.”
Preach .. No More!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:56 pm
@Comeback
“…but do we agree that these non-multitasking men are in the very silent minority.”
They are more prevalent than you think. It’s just that some of them front and are not honest with their true feelings. Way too many cats out here try to play pimp and when they meet a woman that does the same they can’t handle it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 12:58 pm
“the two men who comment on here.. are the realist i’ve seen in a minute.. at least their words seem to be..
”
@ jolie, ive third eye’d Hum and No since on SBM. I’ve come at them with hypotheticals at all angles. They don’t really divert. They’re solid.
***stamps the yaya seal of approval on Hum and No’s YaYa honorary male member application***
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:00 pm
if i get one more howard homecoming text…imma scream outloud.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:00 pm
@Comeback: Im not so sure since I cant see it from a woman’s prospective. I know its a minority…the thing is that there arent many men who feel comfortable stating their objectives on both sides of the spectrum. I know men like me who arent real about it and they lead women on as if they are looking for something serious. Then there are some than want just one woman but dont want to seem like a “sucka for love” like I described it earlier. I think many just want to say and do whatever necessary to appear most desireable to the other gender, basically “tell em what they wanna hear”.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:03 pm
@Anitra: Damn, hoe’n and trickin? I didnt think I was that bad, lol.
And thanks to all of you ladies making me feel welcome, drinks on me!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:10 pm
“Way too many cats out here try to play pimp and when they meet a woman that does the same they can’t handle it.”
THE MUTHAFUGGIN STORY OF MY LIFE!!!!
@No More: AND you buys drinks…yeah it’s nice to have you here with us buddy…although i don’t drink it’s nice to know that if i was thusty, you would quench that thirst.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Ok so since we agree we have 2 men with healthy opinions, I need to know what would both of you do if a woman you used to “kick it” with called you having not seen you in a year, requesting your sexual service, would you just be like ok sure???
This happen to me and while im flattered i can get the goods a year later, im a little worried as to why he just seems to be going with the flow a year later…..
I know its not because he been in the celibacy club….. or is it??
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Mikki who the hell is Anitra Clark? I’ve been meaning to ask you that for a minute.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:20 pm
lmao Teacia thats my alter ego, you know hint hint…..
lol jk anitra is my middle name, mikki is my nick name…. and some days im not sure who i wanna be so im just both!
Mikki is my fun silly girl, cute pinch the cheeks girl, Anitra is grown n sexy but im a Libra so i can never have more of one over the other.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Ok I feel ya…man I think I need to create an alter ego and start posting under her name…oh wait, I already did, lol.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I’m like 1,00 comments late.. catching up.
“The thing I am sensing is you all assume that every man who dates around is doing it out of fun and opportunity…maybe a man dates around because he knows he has no desire nor the temperament to be in a relationship, and hes mature enough to remove himself from the situation rather than go out and pretend to be looking for something he’s not”
I have no problem with this as long as he’s upfront… in my experience, the men have not been upfront and threw a fit when I went out with others (even though they were secretly doing the same).
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:29 pm
So a guy I dated in July has resurfaced due to texting. I was talking to him last night about birthdays and what not and he said his was Nov 18th. Sooooooo. I thought I remembered that he was a Taurus.. So I do a little internet searching and find a myspace page I never knew he had .. that shat says April 30th is his bday. Why would he lie? A grown arss 37 yr old man?
Comeback.. I need the 3rd eye on this one..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:30 pm
@Mikkanitra: Thats your new name.
It would really depend on the person. If it was someone I didnt miss after a year then I wouldnt even respond. I’d probably ask them why now, though.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:32 pm
@mikki: maybe he got bored like me and sent out a round of texts.. trying to see who would bite.. but instead of c0nversation like me .. he was looking to bite something else
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:40 pm
lmao Jolie it was ME who sent the text, in my attempt to get outta the celibacy club, i didnt actually think a year later he would be like yea, he did ask why but he still was gung “hoe” about it lol.
part of me believes he is just hoing around, and the other half believes he just hasn’t been sexually active and I am one person he trust sleeping with even after a year….
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:41 pm
“Ok so since we agree we have 2 men with healthy opinions, I need to know what would both of you do if a woman you used to “kick it” with called you having not seen you in a year, requesting your sexual service, would you just be like ok sure”
HELL NO. Walk away!
Thanks and pull around for your total.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:42 pm
we aren’t strangers we have been off n on fwbs for a long ass time, but last year i joined the celibacy club and i haven’t looked back but if i did slip up well, he was the one an only person im willing to slip with lol.
dont worry guys im not gonna do bp (banana republic) (for comeback lol)
you see bp left me a b day shout out on my myspace page comeback lookin all sexy n thangs!!!!
arggggg
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:43 pm
LMAO Nicki you see i keep riding around the drive through!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:44 pm
@Mik: You sure do. LOL. Are you doing this out of horniness???? Or do you want something more? Can you handle it if he f’s you and just wipes up with a towel and bounces?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I just need ONE person to validate ME DAMN!!!
humble, Heroes anybody!! please I need some sex!!!!
not from yall two i was just sayin lol……
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:48 pm
LOL!
Now, I’m not gonna say don’t have sex… hell, everybody can’t handle the celibacy walk (Shouts out to all my members). It’s a damn hard struggle.
BUT, I am saying, just be prepared if that’s all it turns out to be… don’t go in with any expectations of love and fireworks and the like. Get your arse wet and leave.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I cosign Nicki. Go for it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:51 pm
ok im snapped out of it carry on folks.
wow Teacia stop rubbin off on me damn!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:52 pm
lmoa NOW yall wanna validate me!!
yall killz me lol.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:57 pm
@Et al:
So a guy I dated in July has resurfaced due to texting. I was talking to him last night about birthdays and what not and he said his was Nov 18th. Sooooooo. I thought I remembered that he was a Taurus.. So I do a little internet searching and find a myspace page I never knew he had .. that shat says April 30th is his bday. Why would he lie? A grown arss 37 yr old man?
Comeback.. I need the 3rd eye on this one..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 1:58 pm
@Mikki
“Ok so since we agree we have 2 men with healthy opinions, I need to know what would both of you do if a woman you used to “kick it” with called you having not seen you in a year, requesting your sexual service, would you just be like ok sure???”
I would wonder where you are coming from? Are you on the rebound? Are you just single and horny? I would need to catch up with you to see where you are coming from. I’m not going to sleep with you instantly after you have been gone for a year. I dont know what you’ve been into. If I am single and it’s just sex that you want then take a test. If you come back clean and you aren’t going through some emotionally vulnerable phase then it can go down.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:00 pm
See humble I can’t answer that question which is why until i can actually answer it truthfully then i just can’t do it.
but i heart those women who can detach sex from emotions.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:06 pm
@jolie
“Why would he lie? A grown arss 37 yr old man?”
Age doesn’t always cure lameness and stupidity. 37? If you dont mind me asking how old are you?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:06 pm
@Jolie: About that text message guy…. I’d straight call him out on that one…. See what he comes up with.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:08 pm
“So a guy I dated in July has resurfaced due to texting”
@ jolie..(skimming) whatever you do DETACH velcro from @zz and that man’s memory foam mattress for the love of shams and throughs.
***sayin a Martha Stewart Kmart prayer over you now***
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:08 pm
“but i heart those women who can detach sex from emotions.”
Sometimes I wonder about those women… like are they real? or were they just hurt at one time and trying to “get back” at all men by treating them like prostitutes…. I’ve certainly been there.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Uhhh why come yall don’t remember that whole text day over at SBM’s when I was like just say, “i want you”…lol, well Mikki don’t ask for my services unless you are serious about your business. I don’t play around, I’m in or out…but I stay the hell off of that fence.
Speaking of celibacy, I didn’t get NONE for my bday…which is bullsh*t btw…so I have a pre-class meeting at the Starbucks on campus with this guy who offered to DJ my bday extravaganza this weekend(who’s never met me btw, we have mutual friends on facebook)…my friends met up with him yesterday to demo the playlist but I was getting my personal train on.
Anyhow he’s pretty corny, another CSI, Marketing double degreed negro. But he’s local and he’s all gaga for your girl, he works on the campus over the IT dept and he’s cute enough I guess…but I need me some local PENTIS…so I’m going to feel him out a bit today and see if I can make him my regular go to guy…I can’t continue this for much longer…I’m almost through my entire 16 pack battery supply.
…and I digress.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:11 pm
“but I need me some local PENTIS…so I’m going to feel him out a bit today and see if I can make him my regular go to guy…I can’t continue this for much longer…I’m almost through my entire 16 pack battery supply.”
Girl, you seriously have me dying over here! LMAO
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:14 pm
“Sometimes I wonder about those women… like are they real?”
…man i’ve been that chic, lose interest right after the sex and kept it moving. i think it’s a form of self preservation. i can’t really explain what would make me feel that way…well actually i can.
ok, *time for blog family moment*
…my sophomore year of college i was raped by a friend of my boyfriend at the time. i told no one for almost a year. he popped up one morning after a party claiming he forgot something and my roommate let him in on her way out to class, i was in my room sleep(naked) and i awakened to this BOY holding me down…and the rest you can just imagine, after a while i just laid there and let him finish.
i think sex lost its meaning to me at that moment until about a few years ago…i just snapped out of it one day.
*ok, blog fam moment over*
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:17 pm
@T: Girl, I’m so sorry to hear that…. I can totally validate your being withdrawn from sex and the emotions from that. Hell, it’s probably a very common response.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:18 pm
@Teacia
Damn. I feel so bad for you. This type of s**t pisses me off. I just dont get it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:18 pm
..I do still have my moments though where I completely detach and afterwards I don’t want to be bothered with the guy anymore.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Don’t feel bad for me guys, I’m a survivor…hell I got an A in my writing class b/c of this experience…lol.
Besides it’s common place and he got his, when I finally did tell my bf, he and his friends beat his ass. He was trying to tell my bf that I didn’t love him and was only using him and I was like oh really, this coming from the guy who raped me…yall it was like a scene straight out of a Master P movie…except we were all in college.
But that was in 98, 10 years have passed and I healed a long time ago from that.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Thank you Teacia for that blog moment!!!
finally someone is real up n here (not hear but yall know what i mean)
and i am sorry too that it happen to you.
group hug!! Teacia I heart you now girl.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:22 pm
“But that was in 98, 10 years have passed and I healed a long time ago from that.”
And Amen to that!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:24 pm
where is comeback we need some cookies
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:25 pm
@humble: I am 27, sir.
@comeback: no velcro booty all the dates with Mr. July were out in the city and we have never seen the inside of each others houses. He asked me to a wine festival yesterday for November. I might take him up on that. I also feel you on all the homecoming texts.. ENOUGH already Dominique Moxey with your damn texts!
@teacia: sorry chica
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Teacia, cheers to your strength! I was hoping you would say that ol boy got the proper beatdown.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Mikki:Detaching sex from emotions was the first way I learned how to do it and it kinda carried over though I wish it hadn’t.
SO many occasions I wish I had saved myself for someone that I actually truly loved because then I didn’t know what love meant and now I’m confused but I’ve felt it. Sometimes I think emotions are so easy to fake.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Awww…Teacia…I am so so sorry to hear that.
It’s women like you who have laid a path to let the rest of us know we can definitely make it
Luvs ya girlie.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:35 pm
@Mikki
“See humble I can’t answer that question which is why until i can actually answer it truthfully then i just can’t do it.”
Cool. As long as you keep it 100 with yourself you can never be wrong.
@Jolie – Do you usually date older men?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:38 pm
@humble: yes, I do usually date older men. I have dated men my age in the past and I’m open to it but I havent dated anyone younger before.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Thanks yall! But don’t go hooraying for me, I’m no role model…I’m trying to figure out a way to get some up in me ryt nah, lol!!!
@Jac: “SO many occasions I wish I had saved myself for someone that I actually truly loved because then I didn’t know what love meant and now I’m confused but I’ve felt it. Sometimes I think emotions are so easy to fake.”
This guy I used to date(he was so great), he used to say baby let’s simulate love, b/c it’s obvious we weren’t in love yet, but when we were intimate it was like floating on a cloud…but I was a playette back then and did him wrong…him and so many others. I don’t know why so many of exes still love me and would jump at dating again, I wasn’t the greatest girlfriend…it must be that good good making them cry and sh*t, lol!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:41 pm
@Jolie: older men are usually that hotness, ripe and ready to be a man…just like I like them.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:43 pm
@teacia: i honestly dont think I could date someone younger. .. not my cup of tea and from my girlfriends experiences they arent ready to commit. I may be generalizing but thats what I hear from the majority of women I know.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Ew.. RIPE… on my way to VA Beach, I was harrassed the ENTIRE FLIGHT by this man… in my face talking about “ya ain’t been seasoned yet.” He was all in my 50 feet. Old black man, older than my granddad… an other was sitting next to him and tapped him on the shoulder and said, “I believe the lady wants to be left alone.” THANK GOD for him… I didn’t want to say anything to the old man cause I felt like I was disrespecting an elder.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:49 pm
LOL @ Nicki…we said older, not elderly…lol.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:49 pm
“Uhhh why come yall don’t remember that whole text day over at SBM’s when I was like just say, “i want you”…lol, well Mikki don’t ask for my services unless you are serious about your business”
@ Teacia Mik is famous for taking advice and then challenging you on the shyt. Im like don’t ask and I wont tell.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm
@Jolie & Teacia – This is where women have an advantage. I would date an older woman but most of them have fell off. Maybe it is were I am located but when I have gone out and been around an older crowd I find none of the women attractive. I have always attracted older women but now I dont know if I am really feeling it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:51 pm
“LOL @ Nicki…we said older, not elderly…lol.”
LOL… Gives me the shivers thinking about it! The oldest I’d feel comfortable with right now is 34 (I’ll be 28 next month)…. I can’t do young guys… tried two and they were complete idiots… can’t test the hot stove again. thanks!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 2:54 pm
@Comeback, so I see.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Well yall I’m off to pick up the kid and then meet my new potential “friend”, class and then another midterm…so it’s safe to say I’ll holla at yall on the flip side.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:06 pm
@humble: how old are you?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Teacia, I am so sorry to hear that. I’m glad you were able to move on from that situation. I’m also glad he got his a** kicked by your friends.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Teacia-Girl you’z a hoot. LOL I just left lunch with my ex. I wish you could hear what he wants. It’s like describing me. Anyways…I’m with Jolie I loves me an older man…I tried the young man thing and he was so closed minded til I was like screw this.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Oh and will we be watching the debate together?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I once said I would never date a younger guy and found myself dating someone 10 years younger. He spent too much time trying to prove to me that he was mature enough to be with me but his immaturity came out when he didn’t get his way. It was fun while it lasted. I prefer someone around my own age or within a 5 year range (younger or older).
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:16 pm
@Jolie – 30
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:17 pm
@Jolie – I’m sorry 31. My birthday was last month.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:21 pm
@Humble: Happy Be-lated and get some gingko…
Yeah the guy who is 37 .. Mr. July said he use to date older women but as Humble stated he isnt as attracted to them anymore. Additionally, he would like to get married again and have kids and most 40 year old women arent down for the kids part.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:27 pm
“where is comeback we need some cookies”
im here. Im sorry you guys…ive been multitasking TWO conference calls AT THE SAME time. shyt’s broken all over the dam#n place and i got my eagle eye decoding 0s and 1s.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:33 pm
@Jolie – At one time I wouldnt date a woman that was a year younger than me. It was either the same age or older. I would rather date no youger than 3 – 4 years younger than me. I like older women but I dont feel I can take them serious long term plus the attractive issue. They usually already have done the kids and family thing so they aren’t looking for that.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:43 pm
“Oh and will we be watching the debate together?”
YES…this is the black CSPAN.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:48 pm
What time does the debate start tonight? are we gathering here or at SBM? Oh wait i forgot we cant go off topic at SBM so are we gathering here?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Alright Comeback I’ll meet you guys at the treehouse @ a little after cause I’ll still be at work.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:52 pm
@ Q I think its always 9pm EST. I’ll leave that to Tommacina “teacia” brokaw to answer.
and we can go here or over to SBM…doesnt matter to me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I vote we stay here… I like being able to look at peoples pictures. Haha.
)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I vote with QB
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:20 pm
So I am hella late, but I would like to add my two cents.
I like dating around. If I am not in a committed relationship then I can do as I please. Plus I like the good ol’ don’t ask don’t tell rule. Currently, I deal with 3 guys here. But the guy I really want is back home, but he really doesn’t want to deal with a long distance relationship. He has been the first guy in two n half years that I wanted a relationship since my ex. Now the other 3 guys, we are cool, one of them I am intimate with(but trying to hold the whole celibacy thing down), however I would probably never get into a real relationship with any of them. But they will always be the homies. Now is that crazy? Not to me, since the one I want is not here.
But I really don’t know what dating truly is. If we are not in a relationship, then we are cool.
My levels of relationship…
-friends( just hang out/ not intimate)
-we cool( intimate, but I don’t ask you any questions about what you do and don’t ask me, because I don’t lie and you might not like what you hear)
-relationship( its just me and that person, everything is out on the table) When I am in a relationship I give 100%.
I say keep your options open and have fun until you are in a committed relationship.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:36 pm
“one of them I am intimate with(but trying to hold the whole celibacy thing down), ”
gotta call bullsh#yt on this Ms. Dev…Humble added to our doctrine article 6.5 on page 10034
we must NEVER EVER EVER lie on our situation.
please explain to the YaYa’s how you’re “intimate” and celibate all at the same time.
***come up front here and explain ***
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:42 pm
YaYa’s,
We have been intimate since Dec. 2007 and have been since then off and on. The last time we were intimate was the beginning of Sept. Since I am trying to be celibate we haven’t been with each other since then.
Hence the reason we were intimate and celibate at the same time.
One guy told me that if I really like the guy back home then I should still sleep with the guy up here…ummm not sure about that one. What do you all think?
But that is not the reason Im celibate. I just chose to do it.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:45 pm
“Since I am trying to be celibate we haven’t been with each other since then. ”
this will do…
***you want some hot cocoa?***
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:45 pm
No bullsh*yt here…always keeping it 100.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:46 pm
lol…yeah with marshmallows.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Comeback I’m about to add attorney to your repertoire.
Peace out. Gotta go to class: Say a prayer to Baby Jesus and everybody for this chemistry lab TEST!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Sitting in class on my laptop pretending to take notes and decided to jump in here.
@Ms. D:Until ole boy makes a real effort to take things to the next level I say get in where you fit in and sleep with whomever you like. Yes I know this is different than something I told you a couple of months ago but he was also more attentive a couple of months ago.
Now my opinions and theories on the situation has changed, do you and if yall meet up somewhere in the middle then it’s all good.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Teacia Brokaw..dont the debates come on at 9pm est tonite?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Dear sweet baby Jesus please deliver Nicki through this Chemistry test…in the name of God our father we pray Amen.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:50 pm
@Teacia: I agree however his effort has picked up once again. But at the end of the day can’t get to excited because we are 1000 miles apart. But he really got my nose open…lol!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Yes mam, promptly and Bob Sheiffer is the moderator!
…anything else.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Amen! You can do it Nicki!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:50 pm
***pulls out my prayer beads***
and sends healing energy to the crown chakra..so that Nick may ace this test. Amen and it is done.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Ahhhh to have a wet nose, I remember it as if it was just yesterday….oh wait, it was just yesterday…lol.
*wiping my nose to check for renewed moisture*
whew, i’m good.
Ms. D, I still say that you have to live your life and for one reason only…”when people show you who they are, believe them…the FIRST time.”
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:55 pm
I agree and will do. Thats why I keep filling in spaces on my roster…lol.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Whew, I got this pic back up. I keep forgetting to log in.
I will be here promptly at 9pm…well darn near it. I have a midterm tonight and may need the entire time to finish(doubt it though).
Oh wait, pest control and a repairman is coming in the morning…which means that I have to clean and will probably will be doing while listening to the uneventful and unclimatic debate tonight.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Ok so does anyone know the recipe to marble loaf b/c I have slice just about everytime I come on campus if they have any left. I gotta get this cake out of my system and save myself the inflated campus price of $2.35/slice.
Recipe please?!?!?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I will be here too… multitaskin like a mofo…i still have mad work to do.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 5:21 pm
I will be here for the debate tonight…
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I will be here if I don’t watch the debate with my mom.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Hi ladies… we are all talking about getting ready for halloween in the office today… Does anyone know how to use fake eyelashes? I want to get red ones… if we put them on around 3:30 in the afternoon will they last until 3:30 in the morning?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 6:08 pm
QB…yes they will…they CAN last for several days depending on how you care for them…but 12 hours is a definitely, just don’t take steamed showers, be sure to ventilate or take a bath.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 6:17 pm
@Teacia any brand recommendations? I need red ones for my costume…
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 6:20 pm
I will be here. I’ll be late cause I don’t get out of here until almost 8 so I’ll see you guys around that time
***Sending chem notes to Nicki telepathically***
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 6:57 pm
QB: I’m a fan of Mac…they have alot of colors and for $10 bucks you get the lashes and they put them on for you.
So I’m sitting here on the green watching my new friend the IT guy doing Capoiera with his group…and I have to say this he is sexy, something about the martial arts mixed with dance, music and being a doubled degree IT and Marketing guy that just gets my juices flowing…not those juices ladies, lol. And we just finished playing Backgammon b/c it’s Backgammon Wednesday and we beat the other team…I love math related games…and now I know a new one and I’m good at it.
But he is corny…I don’t know, this one is a toss up…we’ll just see where it goes.
Btw, I haven’t sat on a green anything in a while…I actually feel like a college student for the first time in a long time.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Thanks for the tip Teacia. I have an appointment at MAC for the 31st to get them put on… $50.00 minimum purchase b/c it’s halloween but i am working enough OT right now I can treat myself to some expensive cosmetics. ;o)
glad you are enjoying being outside tonight…
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 8:34 am
Thanks to the Ya ya dolls for the prayers! I feel really good about this test… not like I aced, it but certainly not like I bombed either. I remembered stuff this time!
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 10:41 am
[...] over at The Comeback Girl we talked about women multitasking their dating. How dating like a man can help women to get [...]
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 6:06 pm
[...] the said convo, I started to understand what comeback was saying about multi tasking. Shame on me for having to listen to a dude for it to actually sink in to my thoughts, but he [...]
Saturday, October 18, 2008 at 9:29 am
A little late, but here I go
I must agree with your post. There is no reason for single women to only date one dude at a time, in hopes that he is the “right one”. I say, increase the odds, date a few, without giving up the cookie or getting too attached, and then narrow it down as they show their true colors…or not, and just keep having fun with them all…no harm in having friends…
Monday, October 20, 2008 at 12:13 am
[...] time, because our fit club commences today. But this is serious business. Ladies, while we’re multi-tasking that ass, I further recommend laying off of Nigella, Barefoot Contessa, and your Grandmama’s and [...]
Monday, December 1, 2008 at 12:01 am
[...] Self-love and touch, I’ve discovered in my “singlehooded” selfishness. Even the art of multi-tasking dat @zz, has given me great perspective on what I want and what I don’t [...]
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 2:25 am
[...] enough to hide from the mess that I’ve created in my dating life. Who knew that multitasking could take such an ugly [...]
Thursday, December 11, 2008 at 12:02 am
[...] it relates to letting all the bootie junk in your trunk go. (With the celibate multi-task dat @zz exception, because we aren’t sleeping with these men/women. We date to “expand out [...]
Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 8:14 am
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Tuesday, May 5, 2009 at 10:38 pm
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