Santa Sent Him
Last week I wrote about Santa bringing me a man, it contained my hugely anticipated, long awaited, much detailed list. I can’t say that it was well received, but it did get people talkingarguing about what was important and what wasn’t.
Somehow, my list, shortened and edited here being “service orientated”, “sexual compatiblity”, “God Loving”, and ”abundance minded”, etc., was just too specific. Some even said parts were ”materialistic” and highly subjective. These comments in my opinion clearly support that not only are people afraid to ask for something more, they have no idea what that more is.
Yesterday in the comment section Ms. Devereaux responded to my mid day inspiration for today’s “What Makes A Good Man Good” with this:
What Makes A Good Man Good…this is relative. I think there are a million answers to this because its a personal preference.
To which I am compelled to call bullhocky (come on I can’t cuss in this post referencing God alot). The notion of a good man (one in which you would be in a deeply committed relationship/marriage) is MUCH more universal than it is personal. At least it should be. We all have our height, weight, demographic, and even racial/cultural preferences. But all those things aside. What A Good Man Is, is exact to me, and the attributes should be on most people’s (particularly women’s) top 10 list. This list is pretty tight. I triple dare anybody to refute this knowledge I got going on here.
So without further delay…What Makes A Good Man Good:
1. Love of God or some other higher power which keeps him grounded. It doesn’t have him pretending to be superman. Making judgements that lack integrity (see item 2) or forgetting about the universal hand that always comes back to right wrongs (karma).
2. Integrity will keep a man faithful even when his “options” are discrete and have double D’s that sit over in the next cubicle. Integrity keeps him home. It keeps him reminded of all that could be at stake if he cheated or decided the grass was greener on the other side. Integrity also suggests that should he have children that he supports them and it suggests that his past is carefully dealt with and done.
3. Being His Own Man should have him making sound decisions when the alternative “appears” easier. It will have him standing up to a friend and charting his own course when their (relationship/money/career) misery would like his company. It also should have him “having your back” when someone else verbally doesn’t.
4. Vision is huge to me. There are biblical references that state “without a vision the people perish”. A good man has to be able to see you out of the messes. He has to be able to see long term and dream bigger better dreams balanced with a little calculated risk perhaps and careful action. It also suggests that he’s positive and hopeful and can see a bright future for you and him.
5. Sexual Compatibility in my opinion this is truly important. Without getting even more woo woo up and through. Sex is one of the only times you physically and emotionally become one. That shouldn’t be off at all. His need to please you should be matched with your equal effort and need to please him as well.
255 Comments
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:19 am
I personally don’t see anything wrong with a list.I made my list a while ago, prayed about it, and set it to the side. Haven’t looked at in months.
In addition to yours here is what I think makes a good man good:
He needs to know what he wants and be able to act on it. I don’t want a man that’s telling me he’s ready for a relationship but truthfully he’s only telling me that because he thinks that is what I want to hear. If he says it then I want his actions to prove it. ****Say what you mean and mean what you say*******
Have Patience…. There will be no games but I just don’t let my guard down super fast…… I don’t have anything to hide but I think it’s a priviledge to get to know all of me. I don’t just let everybody in. So be patient and let’s just go with the flow with the attempt to build something that’s strong and everlasting instead of rushed and unstable… Patience is truly a virtue…
This is just a tip of the iceberg but I need to take my butt to bed because it’s gonna be time for work before I know it….. I know this dialogue is going to be a good one… Hopefully I can join in….
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:28 am
Good list; however the only thing I would change would be more specific on #1. He would have to believe in God and be a Christian. If he is of a faith that I don’t believe in, him and I would be unequally yoked from day one. If our relationship were to to progress into something serious, I wouldn’t be able to allow him to be the head of household because his beliefs are different than mine.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:50 am
@ Shelia”He would have to believe in God and be a Christian”
i don’t know if that important to me…the Christian part per say. I mean there are so many other beliefs and practices that meld well with Christianity. I would prefer him to not be muslim (that reads bad but its the truth, there are some very oppressive concepts revolving around women). But i would be open to all others.
@ Daisy re:patience..i dunno sometimes the patient attribute is annoying as hel# because it will have a man not piss#in and not getting off the pot. I need a balance between some measured caution and decisive action.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:06 am
this list sums it up for me. I agree on the religion thing. u don’t have 2 be a christian, however to me u must actualize there is 1 true God wether u call him god,buddah,allah,zion,jah,el shaddah etc. the respect and belief in this must be real.
I think with vision u must have drive and foucus. what’s a vision wirh no forward thinking 2 get it accomplished.
also respect which can fall inside integrity
but the thing my pastor says if God brought u a man who is everything u asked for right now…are u ready for him? do u reflect everything u are requesting of a man?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:09 am
ok I just wrote this really long commrnt and its no here….im a go back 2 sleep and try again!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 7:03 am
Okay, so I refuse to start an argument about religion on this blog. However, I think #1 is highly subjective. Not for you Comeback, but for those who may not hold a belief of a higher power. An Atheist/Agnostic woman probably wouldnt have #1 on their list. A good man to them wouldnt have to have that belief. What that mean that man isnt good? Well only if you believe an atheist or agnostic person cannot be good. In my opinion there are people who dont have #1, yet they still make good judgements, have integrity and believe in karma.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 7:12 am
Good Morning guys…..
The list is great yaw… Christianity is big on my list..
Sorry, can’t get deep now… Pondering on school.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 7:40 am
Yes Nicki Please ponder school!!
Heroes you are so right, its not a good idea to get into a debate about religion, but to add to what Shelia was saying its about the yokeness more than anything, if anybody isn’t going to be believing in God,we had BETTER be doing it together.
Now I won’t go around saying that two people who have completely different religious backgrounds can’t survive but if both of you are strong in faith it might be a little struggle, a lot of us don’t practice our own beliefs as much as we should, so to get all into a full fledged battle about it well its not a good look.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 7:56 am
@no more: I’m with you on the “what a person believes tip” but honestly I feel sorry for people who are agnostic or athiest. I tried to date a man who was struggling with his belief in God and tedered on being an Athiest and I’m sorry that made him not A GOOD MAN .. well for me at least. He was negative, pessimistic and had nothing to fall back on when things went wrong. He had faith in nothing, belief in nothing and this drove down to Comeback’s point number (had to scroll up) 3 and 4. Because of his lack of faith in God he had no vision for his future .. everything was dark AND being his own man was next near to impossible. He held on to so much hate so much negativity. A man who believes in SOMETHING … a HIGHER POWER is what makes a man a good man. To me at least.. and I have to believe that Comeback’s list is applicable to at least 75% of women in her demographic.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:10 am
Good Morning Everyone
I have to cosign No More’s post 100%. I wish I could equate belief to a good mate but I can’t. Especially with westerners and religion. I am the grandson of a reverend. I was raised in the church and around people of other religions. I have seen integrity, positiveness, and so on in everybody. I hate to admit it but, I have seen the worse qualities in human beings in people with strong faith. So this is not a deal breaker to me.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:17 am
“Integrity will keep a man faithful even when his “options” are discrete and have double D’s that sit over in the next cubicle. Integrity keeps him home. It keeps him reminded of all that could be at stake if he cheated or decided the grass was greener on the other side. Integrity also suggests that should he have children that he supports them and it suggests that his past is carefully dealt with and done.”
I am willing to bet that most women don’t have this at 2 or 1. It amazes me how women don’t take integrity into account. I have seen women infatuated by dudes that were dispicable as people. All the other cats know this dude sucks as a person but he gets women left and right. I have a hunch that the type of women that like these dudes either 1. don’t know, 2. find happiness in B.S., or 3. are emotionally immature.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:18 am
“I have a hunch that the type of women that like these dudes either 1. don’t know, 2. find happiness in B.S., or 3. are emotionally immature.”
Trust Humble. They know…. they just choose to accept it for some odd reason.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:28 am
On an off topic side note I had a dream that seal proposed to me and I said yes and was super happy about it.
can someone 3rd eye that dream for me ?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:31 am
@nickisunshine
“Trust Humble. They know…. they just choose to accept it for some odd reason.”
Well that’s f**ked up if true. I have been turned off by some women when they tell me about the dudes they dated before me. (Actually I think this is a topic I need to do) Integrity is HUGE when choosing a mate and a lot of women don’t consider it. I think that is why a lot of relationships fail. If a dude doesn’t live by a code he stands for nothing but himself.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:34 am
“Well that’s f**ked up if true. I have been turned off by some women when they tell me about the dudes they dated before me. (Actually I think this is a topic I need to do) ”
You should write that for us for next week…..
It is f’ed up.. but some women are stupid… I know some… It makes me sick.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:36 am
@ Mik..”On an off topic side note I had a dream that seal proposed to me and I said yes and was super happy about it. ”
if yo @zz thinks you marrying seal (who is married to my favorite supermodel) you really are sadly mistaken. please get your mind right.
TO ALL ABOUT RELIGION…why don’t people want to discuss it? The only way minds get changed is by challenging your old assumptions and ideas. I’m not talking about a holy roller who holds on to religion because they dont trust their own judgement. Those people need rules. They need biblical text to keep them in line. I believe all that is an interpretation anyway. And it shouldn’t be used to oppress others.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:44 am
lol comeback trust and believe it was REALLY weird, after I said yes I went to sleep (in the dream) and started dreaming of these girls dressed in dresses like in Cinderella (the brandi version) singing a putting on a theatrical called “buy me what I want”
then someone gave me a congratulations “fart”
ok disregard all that please
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:46 am
What is wrong with Mik?
Honey child, I had a dream about ninjas and watching people get killed.. TOP THAT! LOL
As for the religion thing, it’s very important to me, personally, so the perfect man for ME, would be the same way….. Not everybody is the same, I know.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:54 am
@ Akua “but the thing my pastor says if God brought u a man who is everything u asked for right now…are u ready for him? do u reflect everything u are requesting of a man?
”
I like this. And I think it warrants a future post. To me requesting things that you can’t honestly say you are WORKING on or BECOMING is totally unfair. And these people usually end up with a man who has missing is something fundamental (wk cite SBM) from the list.
@ No Mo “In my opinion there are people who dont have #1, yet they still make good judgements, have integrity and believe in karma.”
read my previous thoughts on religious topics. None of us in here are dating each other. So I think its ok to have these discussions. I am open (at least i try to be…to them all). I do think that atheists can be good people and have integrity. But karma suggests “something and someone” behind the scenes leveling the field. Why can;t they just state that truth as “Higher Power” ?
@ Jolie “I tried to date a man who was struggling with his belief in God and tedered on being an Athiest and I’m sorry that made him not A GOOD MAN .. well for me at least. He was negative, pessimistic and had nothing to fall back on when things went wrong. He had faith in nothing, belief in nothing and this drove down to Comeback’s point number (had to scroll up) 3 and 4.”
this is a super great deep point. In my opinion there really is a blueprint for success in spiritual and biblical text. So non-believers do suggest to me that they have a serious uphill battle as it relates to the belief in the good side of life.
@ Nick “Sorry, can’t get deep now… Pondering on school”
pleae ponder. I dont want this blog to be the cause you didn’t do well.
@ brother Hummy “It amazes me how women don’t take integrity into account”
me too. to me its the keys to castle that also unlock other doors within. A man with integrity is not gonna put your relationship at risk with other women etc. He is courageous to say he wants to bounce (in a dating situation). he keeps his word..etcetc.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:54 am
“then someone gave me a congratulations “fart””
you been droppin acid.
let me get some coffee.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:55 am
Comeback, I rarely talk about religion because from my experiences the conversations usually take a turn for the worse. Somebody ends up taking your words as a personal attack on them and their faith, even though you made sure to carefully choose your words so that wouldn’t happen.
Religion, politics and race are things that many people cannot have a constructive conversation about because of their own close-mindedness.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:59 am
lmao Nicki I dunno about that one but I did almost marry sean kingston one time.
I think I ate to many chocolate chip cookies last night.
but back on subject I’d have to say FOR ME everything comeback said I agree with. Even though its to eaches own I am gonna have a little trouble with a man who thinks nobody woke him up and clothed him in his right mind. Now with Humble your right, them holly rollers are the WORST but still you gotta know that its not YOU that makes sure you have a car, cash, a home, and a job…..
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:00 am
“Nick “Sorry, can’t get deep now… Pondering on school”
pleae ponder. I dont want this blog to be the cause you didn’t do well.
”
It’s not you guys… yaw actually bring about 85% of my smilz, so I need to be here.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:01 am
Comeback re: Atheism and karma:
You dont have to believe in a higher power to believe that your wrongdoings will come back onto you. If you dont believe in a higher power to begin with, then you dont believe all experiences and consequences are a result of some higher being distributing punishment and joy, you just think its the natural law of chaos in life.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:02 am
To all, A man without faith is aman without vision, because his vision can only be of this world. Vision is past our worldly things and into the souls of the people we spend time with.
I like the list, and think this is an appropriate and fair way of judging a good man. I think most people don’t know what true sexual compatibility is though. Just cause he blows out your back isn’t it, the question is can you make love with him.
Being his own man, when he tries to be will you allow him. Some women don’t let a man be a man, which eventually will turn a good man.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:02 am
“Religion, politics and race ”
You are right.. I definitely shy away from all 3… I am not an arguer (did I spell that right? It doesn’t look right) and people often turn ugly.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:10 am
Heroes I think having an open debate/discussion about your biliefs is a must when you are talking about dating. People who brush it under the rug tend to have issues later on in the relationship.
These are the 4 things my future boo will make sure we are on the same page about before we take a leap.
Religion
kids
money
and in-laws
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:13 am
@J: “To all, A man without faith is aman without vision, because his vision can only be of this world. Vision is past our worldly things and into the souls of the people we spend time with.”
I think I love you ..
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:14 am
“@J: “To all, A man without faith is aman without vision, because his vision can only be of this world. Vision is past our worldly things and into the souls of the people we spend time with.””
@jolie: I know right… very eloquently written, Mr. McFly!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:15 am
I agree Mik, I just meant having those conversations with random people. You definitely should talk about those things with somone you’re trying to build something with.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:28 am
Good Morning All! Great post and list Comeback! Religion is high on my list for my Future Boo!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:29 am
“I am gonna have a little trouble with a man who thinks nobody woke him up and clothed him in his right mind”
@ Mik..this is truth right here.
@ No Mo ..karma is God/Source there is no other way to really slice it and dice it.
Somebody is keeping score. Who do you think that is?
@ J “Being his own man, when he tries to be will you allow him. Some women don’t let a man be a man, which eventually will turn a good man.”
How do yo let a man be a man..either his doing it or his not. I think some women pick up on men who waver they aren’t sure…so then she tries to wear the pen!is you can[t really do this either. But i understand a woman trying to take the reigns from a man who doesn’t really know how to operate them esp. when her survival is at stake.
@ Holly-Hi. totally agree.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 9:54 am
In atheism there is what you could call “weak atheism” and “strong atheism”. Weak atheism is what some agnostics fall under. There are some atheist/agnostics that believe in karma, because karma to them is strictly a cause-and-effect relationship. All actions have consequences. My negative actions and attitude will bring suffering to someone else. That suffering will come back to me, through the person I gave it to or by someone else. So its not a higher power controlling this, its us controlling it.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 10:03 am
@Comeback
How do you gage his (or any person’s) integrity? What can a person show you that makes you sure that he/she will not cheat?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 10:09 am
A hot little video…I felt compelled to share:
http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/politics/2008/10/24/von.ga.kids.political.rap.cnn.html
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 10:11 am
People do say avoid talking about politics and religion. I’ve been known to publically talk about both.
Check out my comments on AOL/BV election page for some of my political views:
http://www.blackvoices.com/news/election
Every one have their religious beliefs and mine is public. I am a Christian and that just happens to be a #1 requirement of mine if I am going to be in a relationship with a guy. I have non-Christian friends and I try to live my life as an example to them. I won’t go into more here, but that’s probably as close to the point as I can get.
Reference relationships, we all have different criteria; some are negotiable and some things aren’t.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 10:23 am
@no more: are you an athiest? or agnostic?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 10:27 am
Cuzzo, I don’t believe “integrity” in itself would keep a man/woman from cheating or doing anything but the fact that you know you have to answer to someone for participating in such acts should be enough to atleast make you stop and think about it.
I was talking about cheating the other day. I think cheating is a terrible thing to do and I don’t condone it nor can you actually stop someone from cheating even with the best good good. But as a woman I feel like if im keeping my end of the bargain taking care of our house, kids, ect I can leave you to be judged by God in good conscious. but if im a woman, not on top of her duties as outlined in the bible (as much as i can) then I won’t be mad at the man who cheats because im just as bad as him when I’m not doing what I should as a wife and mother.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 10:43 am
@80’s
“I don’t want a man that’s telling me he’s ready for a relationship but truthfully he’s only telling me that because he thinks that is what I want to hear. ”
this is the integrity part.
@Comeback
The ideals you speak about can be said for what makes a good mate in general. Also, kudos on the illustration.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 10:54 am
@ NoMo I didn’t know there were weak and strong agnostics. Wow imma have to read up on that. There’s an old country saying that goes something like: “God is usually the first “person” an athiest calls on when they get in deep trouble”. To me there are too many glorious “unexplained” that have to be of source/higher power. Hell the sleep state is as close to death as most living people get. And Mik’s dream reminded me of how wonderful that is. Messages come in the form of sleep, intuition, near death..how do you explain that NOT being higher power/source/God..i dunno all fascinating stuff.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:01 am
@ Shelia…dazayum..im feeling some type of talking head cnn type stuff in your future Ms. Shelia. Your comments are featured almost ERRYDAY. wow. congrats.
@ Cuzzo & Mik- first cuzzo. “How do you gage his (or any person’s) integrity? What can a person show you that makes you sure that he/she will not cheat?”
this is A GREAT question. Mik summed it up well. And this is most def a future post. maybe monday? To not give everything I’d write away…there are no absolutes. I think you can get closer to it than NOT. But when you have a good man I think you can “bring him close to cheating” (same for a woman).
And i’ve seen my bestie do it. People aren’t possessions. And that which you hold on to tight enough will be inclined to want to get away.
“The ideals you speak about can be said for what makes a good mate in general. Also, kudos on the illustration.”
i actually worked with someone two years ago on this one. I can’t take all the credit here. It was my christmas card edition. I’ll post the other scans in a few weeks.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:01 am
“Messages come in the form of sleep, intuition, near death..”
What message where me and Humble’s sex dream giving up?
J/K, J/K.
I had to laugh cause as yaw say “I’m feeling some kinda way.”
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:03 am
“What message where me and Humble’s sex dream giving up?
J/K, J/K.
”
post em again. I don’t see them. I’ve had some of my own that were rather literal…i’ll share in a few.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:15 am
@Humble and Nicki
““I have a hunch that the type of women that like these dudes either 1. don’t know, 2. find happiness in B.S., or 3. are emotionally immature.”
Trust Humble. They know…. they just choose to accept it for some odd reason.”
I am this woman right now. I could be #2 and #3 that Humble pointed out. I can’t justify for all women like me but when you deal with this dude, you already have him figured out and nothing he does surprises you. You know what to expect from him. It’s easier than taking the time to “figure out” a potentially good guy. I dated a guy who seemed to have integrity but no vision and we weren’t sexually compatible.
I also feel like I’m young enough to make these mistakes and not be serious with anyone. Can a woman know her worth and still not be ready? I think you have to both know and accept your worth.
I love this blog…it’s opening my eyes to me. If I can romp around with someone who has no integrity, do I lack integrity too?
*argh and good grief*
(feel free to slap me with my own sh!t)
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:15 am
Good morning to oh my so fly blog brothers, who are often the epitome of a good man and to my beautifully fabulous but still human blog sisters.
I like this list. I’m a Christian so I’m all for someone who is like me, because when I tried to date an Atheist it was a fundamental problem in our relationship foundation.
I don’t know about you girls/guys, but I like to know that the person I’m with can carry themselves with an equal amount of class whether in the club, at work and in church. I don’t care what you say I don’t want nobody who wildin totally out, cause yep, even at my age I’m too old for that.
Can I just say, sometimes the person you are looking for is right in front of your face, doing the d@mn thing and you over look them for some BS that’s going to mistreat you. Well look, and I realize this just a moment ago, but I am…a good woman and I deserve a man who is and does the same and as long as he can accomplish that I will hold us both down as long as he keeps the boat moving in a positive direction cause you know what when you’re in a boat and only one person is rowing you ain’t going nowhere but in a circle, well I’ve been in a boat like that and I jumped out cause it’s not a good man that lets you do all the row, row, row your boat (works cite comeback)
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:23 am
@Jolie & Comeback: By definition most people would call me an agnostic theist. Basically believing without knowing. Meaning I believe in God, but purely through faith only, and not knowledge. I don’t claim to know God exists, but in spite of no evidence of his existence I still choose to believe in, and have a personal relationship with God.
Comeback – “To me there are too many glorious “unexplained” that have to be of source/higher power.”
I mostly agree with this. At the same time, a “higher power” is too often used as a fill-in-the-blank to help bring reason to the things we don’t know. So, that kind of leads into how I feel.
I am always researching and learning about the concept of a “higher power” so I don’t think that I am right or wrong, and I don’t try to convert people out of their beliefs. Its just how I feel and what works for me.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:24 am
Cuzzo:Good morning lady
I think that as young women, especially in 2008, we know our worth and we get it we know there’s too many other things we could be doing that don’t necessarily qualify as the right thing. But when you’re always doing the right thing sometimes you just wanna pull the bullshit option (even when you’re old sometimes, too) I just think you have to have a minute to adjust because sometimes you’re heart might be wrapped up in something or someone that lacks integrity and somewhere in your subconscious you think, hope and dream that they’ll get some so you won’t have to leave them.
Just my interpretation of the situation.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:25 am
And just in case anyone wants further clarification…
http://atheism.about.com/od/aboutagnosticism/a/theism.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnostic_theist
Now dont yall start talking about me like a heathen!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:29 am
I don’t think I would even know this good mate if they presented themselves to me. I always think (from experiences I guess) they seem to have all of the above…now, what do they want from me? Am I meeting the representative until the lights go off? I can’t help but think that ppl have intentions. I’ve been on two dates thus far with a seemingly good man but I can’t help but be defensive with him and wonder what he sees in me.
eyes opening a lil bit more…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:33 am
Hey Jac
“I just think you have to have a minute to adjust because sometimes you’re heart might be wrapped up in something or someone that lacks integrity and somewhere in your subconscious you think, hope and dream that they’ll get some so you won’t have to leave them.”
that GD subconscious is a MF
*wags fists*
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:36 am
@Comeback
“It was my christmas card edition”
you make xmas cards? do you sell them?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:45 am
@ Jac “Can I just say, sometimes the person you are looking for is right in front of your face, doing the d@mn thing and you over look them for some BS that’s going to mistreat you. ”
I agree with this. Thats apart of the samsonite that both sides should be checking. I do believe that love should be organic. But it takes some work and planning to grow fresh fruit…you dont just throw a couple of seeds in the ground go to france and expect there to be a big ole orchard when you get back.
@ Cuzzo “Can a woman know her worth and still not be ready? I think you have to both know and accept your worth. ”
i agree with this too. There are still some things I’m still working on i mean two months ago my plate was NOT fully clean. I was happening upon homeboy’s stuff, like random things in the back of my closet. Which is why im telling people to purge. You gotta clean your plate, mentally, physically etc of past people…to really let someone in.
yeah re: the cards. It started just to have stuff to send to my family and friends. It caught on for awhile. it was last year. I’ll make a page for it so people can see.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 12:01 pm
@Comeback: Girrrrrl, I’d write a story about those dreams… LOL
@Cuzzo: I dont’ think you lack integrity, I just think you are selling yourself short… I understand knowing you are not ready BUT you also deserve the greatest any man is given. You can both be on your own paths, but don’t take any shorts.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 12:36 pm
True Man by Jagged Edge comes to mind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG_pYOYhubA
I don’t wanna bogart and post all the lyrics up here…search for youself, lol.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Awwww right Cuz… I like the song. They used to THEE group before that whole metrosexual R&B war b/t them and 112. LOL
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Oh I love me some Jagged Edge…ok…I’m stay on topic after this…does anyone like “Ghetto Guitar”?
Ok guys…I think I have a good man in my life. I knew he was good when he came but I didn’t understand my worth which made me try and diminish is (that will run them away, trust me)…we’ve been back on good terms for a minute…what to do, what to do?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 12:44 pm
@Nicki
“metrosexual R&B war”
pfft. lol. and dru hill was in a “howu doin” war all by themselves.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Good morning everyone (it’s “morning” here for 6 more minutes)
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day thus far.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 12:55 pm
@Jac
Wha do you want to do – Does he want a relationship? Do you?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I’m heading to Burlington Coat Fac to return something – pray that I don’t buy stuff too.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Jac I think you spend some time getting to “re-know” him and decide from ther what you want.
I think it’s No More that has a “PGF” “Prospective Girlfriend” so you could make him your “PBF” “Prospective Boyfriend” and just see where it goes.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:00 pm
“@Nicki
“metrosexual R&B war”
pfft. lol. and dru hill was in a “howu doin” war all by themselves.”
HAAAA. “Tell me, what ya want, tell mmeeeee, what you need.”
Burlington is quite addictive…. DON’T go in the coat or the HOME section ma’am.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:02 pm
“Ok guys…I think I have a good man in my life. I knew he was good when he came but I didn’t understand my worth which made me try and diminish is (that will run them away, trust me)…we’ve been back on good terms for a minute…what to do, what to do?”
How long have you been dating? I’m always going to say be patient, and be quiet.. His intentions will be revealed.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:03 pm
no more’s wiki agnostic entry went to spam-unspamed peruse at your agnostic leisure above.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Nicki-I’m looking for you @ our meeting place.
It’s the one with the jurors.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Jac: Hey… I am off yahoo today…. not really feeling “sunshiney.”
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I just got a new pair of boots.. they are hooooooot!
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2956230?cm_cat=datafeed&cm_pla=shoes:women:boots&cm_ite=steven_by_steve_madden_‘intyce’_boot:207112&cm_ven=Froogle&mr:trackingCode=9409B78A-0AA5-DD11-B7E2-001422107090&mr:referralID=NA
they were delivered to my office and I put them right on.. !
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Those are HOT Jolie!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I ain’t sunshiney either son, especially if I don’t finish 1500 words that I’m just starting on in the next 1.5 hours, but yeah that’s him.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:30 pm
@nicki: thanks. .and they are super comfortable.. I was waitin for them all morning ..walking around in my uggs (my office is pretty casual) until they came
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:30 pm
i think the barter system should be brought back… finding him a hotel room for a wedding this weekend in exchange for him making my favorite dinner tonight… yup yup.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:30 pm
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhX7NE6YIKAM9FjlTq
Chelsea Handler is hilarious.. and I’m still in love with T.I.
The one short man I will go after!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:32 pm
“the jurors”
Ok, I”m confrused.
@Jolie.. don’t be mad when I copy you and get some. LOL. Girl, I love my heels…. but even more so I love a non heeled sexy boot. I have some black ones.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Those are very hot Jolie.
Fashion question ladies – can i wear uggs with sweatpants???? i am wearing flip flops today with them and my toes are cold!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Get to that paper Jac. I just found out I made a 63% on that test yesterday… plus, in chem class, I had to work with another group.. when the girl found I was 28, not married, and no kids.. she gave me an “awwww,” like I was gonna die shortly.
Yep, that made me depressed! N/JK
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:35 pm
@QB: I’ve seen it done ten thousand times… I wouldn’t say I’d do it (not really a sweatpants gal) BUT I’ve seen it done and it doesn’t look bad atall.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Nick…. i dont usually wear sweatpants out the house but it’s comfy week at work this week… if you saw me from the waste up you would never guess i had on sweat pants. haha.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:39 pm
wow….not to get all mystical, but the universe is really talking to me
my friend twittered me this article, right when you guys were talking (along) the same stuff.
http://www.erinpavlina.com/blog/2007/07/how-to-attract-the-relationship-of-your-dreams/
let me know what you guys think…it’s kinda cool.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:39 pm
@QB: “if you saw me from the waste up you would never guess i had on sweat pants. haha.”
Welll awwwright.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:42 pm
@nicki: Go ahead and get you some. I ALWAYS wear heels these are my first flat boots.. make sure to get a half size up from what you normally wear because Steve Madden boots run a lil small.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Trust Nicki that i am not going to come to work lookin a hot mess. People make fun of me b/c on “comfy day” i spend more time on my hair and makeup than any other day of the month. haha.
I am a dork. complete 100%.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:45 pm
@Whyso: Thanks for sharing that.. it kinda supports our whole list.. although mine on my site wasn’t so serious, it does make me realize that the short most important things are what matters (like the ones Comeback posted here today!)
@Jolie: I’m addicted to flat boots. LOL. Girl, thank you. I’m gonna wear them out, they go with a lot of stuff and can break up my normal all black wardrobe.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Get some boots, everybody! MY problem is big ass calf…
Half way done on paper #1…
Whyso-I got you on the article…
Somebody post some more so I can have something interesting to read in class.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:54 pm
There are some boots for women with the calves.. I forgot the site. Jac, I’m going to see if I can find it. One of my local girls has the same issues.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:58 pm
nicki…
yes ma’am. As someone alluded to yesterday, I think it’s more internal than outernal. once you find yourself, the attributes that you value in yourself, and are internally set then ***poof*** correct partner shows up, right there.
it all starts with the person.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 1:59 pm
“outernal”
I want to put this in my paper. I wonder what Dr. Cook would say.
LMFAO!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:00 pm
@ No More Heroes, To let a man be a man is when he has the reigns and is handling business continue to let him instead of snatching them away. You say what if he ’s not handling business, then you should be doing business with him.
@Comeback, great post I feel what your saying. It seems that many women aren’t finding the men they deserve (yes I said deserve not want). Guide these men to the movement, MrSwagger.com we’ll fix them
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm
“my friend twittered me this article, right when you guys were talking (along) the same stuff.”
@ Why yeah that is weird because i found her site through her husband’s stuff a few weeks ago.
@ Jolie…those boots are tight..i like the little wedge heel. Its not quite a flat boot, but it adds a little dimension to it. i heart nordie’s.
@ Q “if you saw me from the waste up you would never guess i had on sweat pants. haha.”
you and Shelia have a career on CNN..thats how most of them dress you know. All cute from the waist up and lookin like Farmer Joe/lina from the waist down
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm
@Whyso: I agree but I’m just getting impatient. I’ve valued myself for 28 years… it’s time for someone else to do it.
Seriously, you all know I’m trying to be a student of the bible and such. I recall once someone told me that it’s not meant for everyone to be married and that GOD does have it for some people to be singles forever… what do you guys think about that? I mean, I understand nuns, and priests and such but real PEOPLE????
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm
@QB
“Fashion question ladies – can i wear uggs with sweatpants???? ”
si senorita
@jolie
did u read the fashion post on single sisters speak out (SSSO)?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:04 pm
J. McFly-You smacked the hell our of the nail right down on its little hell. Women needed to stop taking the reigns out the man’s hands and saying well you ain’t doing shit and have his back a little more. Maybe even give him a little nudge, because sometimes just us men can get a little unmotivated.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:07 pm
@comeback “lookin like farmer Joe/Lina from the waist down”
too funny. you always make me laugh. too funny.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:07 pm
We need another fashion post… anyone got ideas.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I’m making myself eat peaches.. they kinda gross me out b/c they remind me of woman parts.. I blame 112’s Peaches and Cream video for this
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:11 pm
@Nicki
“they kinda gross me out b/c they remind me of woman parts”
I thought we had the same kinda dirty mind – but this one is kinda weird.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:13 pm
@Cuzzo “I thought we had the same kinda dirty mind – but this one is kinda weird.”
I know, right? But have you seen the video?? The freaky things they are doing with peaches? Plus they are all soft with fuzz on the outside. P-YECCH
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:14 pm
“I’m making myself eat peaches.. they kinda gross me out b/c they remind me of woman parts.. ”
Is that why I like peaches and nectarines?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:15 pm
wait nicki….you’re only 28. You’re young!!!
Whatchu talkin bout, you still got years till you hit that stride. Yunno, where you’re experienced enough to have wisdom, but active enough to do something about it.
And the fact that people are entering “adulthood” later in life….i wouldn’t even feel that way.
Age ain’t nothin but a number….(no kells)
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:15 pm
“Is that why I like peaches and nectarines?”
That’s exactly why… and exactly why they both freak me out… look at how a peach is shaped… kinda.. squint your eyes
http://honestfarm.org/UserFiles/Image/recipe-photos/peach4.jpg
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:16 pm
@Humble
“Is that why I like peaches and nectarines?”
*slap* stop
o_O
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:16 pm
What the hell I finish paper 1 come back and you are all talking about peaches as vaginas or some ish…
ARGH
Nasty a$s family.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:17 pm
@Why
“no kells” lol. officially added to list with no homo
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:17 pm
@whyso: “Whatchu talkin bout, you still got years till you hit that stride. Yunno, where you’re experienced enough to have wisdom, but active enough to do something about it.
And the fact that people are entering “adulthood” later in life….i wouldn’t even feel that way.
Age ain’t nothin but a number….(no kells)”
Thanks for helping to put a little pep in my step. I need a damn date. This ish is depressing. LOL. Who knows people in Kentucky/Indiana? I’m cute and fun and I love walks in the park.
J/K
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:19 pm
@jac
awww c’mon
u nasty girl…u nasty
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:20 pm
@Nicki
uh, u might just need to move.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:21 pm
@Cuzzo: “uh, u might just need to move.”
I’m thinking the same thing, doll… shit’s not looking good here.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:22 pm
@Cuzzo
“*slap* stop”
What did I do?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:22 pm
yeah Jac you dont have much room to talk about people talkin about dirty stuff like peaches n cream… lol.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Seriously, come on down to NoLa…good ones come out the woodwork down here…
My co-workers were just mad @ me about this last night…
And Cuzzo’s going to be mad too!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:24 pm
@nickisunshine – I dont know if this is near you. I had a friend that worked in Columbus,IN. He couldn’t take it. He lasted about a year and a half.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:25 pm
and btw, you have to do the cutaway of the peach to get the image.
And on that note, I’m getting to work. I got that Foreign Exchange album (phonte from lil bro and nicolay) and i’ll be absorbing that for a while
***closes browser****
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:28 pm
@Jac
mad at what? the plethora of good men in N’Orlens
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:28 pm
@Jac: I’m thinking the south too… but I also wanted to do North Carolina….
LOL @ Whyso, who got my image. I’ve heard good things about the Foreign Exchange.. I like some of their stuff.
@Humble: It’s about an hour away.. Hold up, you have a pic up???? Is that you??
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:29 pm
@Comebackgirl
“The only way minds get changed is by challenging your old assumptions and ideas. I’m not talking about a holy roller who holds on to religion because they dont trust their own judgement. Those people need rules. They need biblical text to keep them in line. I believe all that is an interpretation anyway. And it shouldn’t be used to oppress others.”
You shocked me with this statement. I thought nd my brother were the only ones in the world that thought like this.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:38 pm
@Humble
“What did I do?”
don’t play coy with me mister.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:38 pm
“You shocked me with this statement. I thought nd my brother were the only ones in the world that thought like this.
”
@ hummy..i know sometimes i come off as judgemental …but my mind changes quite a bit on things. No Mo really opened my eyes to this whole agnostic thing. I knew there were some different schools of thought within the whole thing but its all rather fascinating.
where i think people really tow the line..I am much more open minded, ie politics and religion…my mind changes often here.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:47 pm
@Comeback
“where i think people really tow the line..I am much more open minded, ie politics and religion…my mind changes often here.”
No More’s thoughts are similar to mine. I was raised christian. I have learned the history of the religion I was raised in. I have also learned about native american, african, and chinese religions. So my outlook is a lot different than others.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:49 pm
OMG. I’m bored to tears.
btw, didn’t shop at Burlington. whew.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Aw right Cuzzo!!!! LOL…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:52 pm
@Cuzzo
“don’t play coy with me mister.”
(innocent voice and face) What? I’m just wondering about why I like peaches and nectarines. I like cobbler and pie too.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:53 pm
See, I’m the opposite of Comeback and Humble. Although I can accept people of all religons as friends, I’m pretty set in stone in my own and what I want to be in my home. BUT I don’t try to change people. You are who you are.. My ex best friend was a J-DUB… we agreed to disagree and wouldn’t discuss our religions.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Ooooh ,please don’t mention peach cobbler Humble. I WILL. Tear. That. Up.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:54 pm
@Cuzzo
“OMG. I’m bored to tears”
I got some work over to keep you occupied. You know how to use Excel?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Aw. JAC!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:58 pm
@ nicki: “Although I can accept people of all religons as friends, I’m pretty set in stone in my own and what I want to be in my home.”
Nicki I agree with you on this. My father is a Pastor and I just don’t see him accepting me dating anyone who isn’t Christian.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:59 pm
@Humble
*squinty eyes* mmmhmmmm
and yea I know how to use excel…that’s what I’m using at work right now. I don’t need to be occupied I need to be un-bored.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I’m mad I just ate some dry-@ss peach cobbler. Very disappointed.
I was raised Christian too. I want to learn more about African and Chinese religions. I’ve done some research on Buddhism.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:59 pm
@nickisunshine
“Ooooh ,please don’t mention peach cobbler Humble. I WILL. Tear. That. Up.”
How about cobbler with french vanilla ice cream?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:00 pm
@Holly: Yeah, I just want us to be able to go to the same church on Sunday/ Saturday/ Wednesday (my current church has all)… I believe in that whole a family that worship/prays together, stays together.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:00 pm
@Humble: “How about cobbler with french vanilla ice cream?”
I just had an orgasm.
You’d swear I was like 700 lbs the way I love food. LOL
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:01 pm
@Nicki and Humble
I’m not really a pie person. *shrugs* Now cakes…das my sh!t.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:01 pm
“I’m mad I just ate some dry-@ss peach cobbler. Very disappointed”
What the hell NoMore??? You need to demand a refund. Post haste.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:02 pm
@Cuzzo: Unfortunately it is all my sh&T. Please don’t get me started on the Cookie Monster at cheddars.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:02 pm
@Nicki: “I believe in that whole a family that worship/prays together, stays together.”
Ditto!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:03 pm
“Ditto!”
Stank ya, Holly.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:03 pm
@nicki
shut yo mouf! the big O…for real though. ya’ll celebs r talkin reckless today.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:05 pm
“shut yo mouf! the big O…for real though. ya’ll celebs r talkin reckless today.”
@Cuzzo: Hey I can’t get the big O from a man, so I’m gonna settle for food in the meantime. LOL!
In my head [raises fits for Fit Club members]
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:05 pm
“I just want us to be able to go to the same church on Sunday/ Saturday/ Wednesday”
Amen
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Mik, where you been hiding?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Recommendations on best website to book a hotel through?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:08 pm
*celibs – i always mess that word up.
I know this a blk ppl thing but I do not like Red Velvet cake.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:10 pm
@Cuzzo
“and yea I know how to use excel…that’s what I’m using at work right now. I don’t need to be occupied I need to be un-bored.”
Aight then. Lets go to the bar, mall, or park. Your choice. ”
@No More Heroes
“I want to learn more about African and Chinese religions. I’ve done some research on Buddhism.”
I want to learn even more about them. I also want to learn more about western european religions pre-christianity.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:11 pm
@Cuzzo: Ew. I don’t like Red Velvet either.. it’s weird.
@QB: I’ve done all of them.. expedia, travelocity, etc. They’re all just as good as the next. Try the hotel directly first.. they claim they give last minute specials… compare prices.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Nicki can I make a reservation with the hotel directly if I am using someone else’s card?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:13 pm
@QB: Hmmmm…. I think so. Cause you’d do it over the phone and they have no way of knowing it was you.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:14 pm
@Cuzzo
“I know this a blk ppl thing but I do not like Red Velvet cake.”
I don’t like it either. I prefer cake or pie. My favorite pie is yellow cake with caramel icing.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:15 pm
@Humble: My mom makes a mean caramel cake. So does my grandma (Dad’s mother in Paducah).. we used to make candy from her leftover caramal icing.
My favorite is the Texas Chocolate cake. It is so good and we make it homemade. Ump, Ump.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I meant I prefer cake over pie.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I loooovee chess pie.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:17 pm
@Nicki except try as I might i do NOT sound like a “Rufus” haha.
I checked the prices at the hotel he wants to stay in and it’s not going to be lower than priceline so I will stick with one of those places. lol.
And Cuzzo I wouldnt say that Red Velvet Cake is a black thing… i would say its more of a southern thing… but mmmm whoevers thing it is it’s good (in my opinion)
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:18 pm
@QB: LOL. That is hilarious. Yeah, I’d stay with online then.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I will have to agree with QB on the Red Velvet.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:21 pm
@Humble
too cold for the park…u don’t wanna go to the mall with me (trust)…so, bar? Comeback was telling me about Canadian ice wine which I still haven’t tried.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Nicki can your mom send some down this way? I asked the cafe owner in my job’s building when was he gonna make some. He looked at me like I was crazy and said “What’s that?”
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Its official y’all. I have a cold.
no travel for work this weekend for me..
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:22 pm
@Holly: Are you kidding me, he didn’t know what that was???
LOL. I sho will send you some…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:23 pm
@ Everyone:
What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?
Can you be with someone for a verrrry long time and never fall in love with them, but just love them?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:23 pm
@QB
“And Cuzzo I wouldnt say that Red Velvet Cake is a black thing… i would say its more of a southern thing… but mmmm whoevers thing it is it’s good (in my opinion)”
Maybe thats why I don’t like it. The only thing good is the white icing. And I dont like white icing.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:24 pm
@Jolie: Awww.. I hope you feel better!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:26 pm
” Everyone:
What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?
Can you be with someone for a verrrry long time and never fall in love with them, but just love them?”
@Ms. D: Heck yeah there is a difference and yes you can just love someone… I’m a loving person, so I love just about every person I come across (including you guys!) BUT…. in love is kinda a relationship, husbandy kinda thing to me.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Nicki I been here stalking, trying to keep up with yall shananagins, working a lil listening to some robin thicke just chillin.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:27 pm
@Humble
my aunt in Antigua bakes a good yellow cake…no icing/topping needed. I needa get that recipe come to think of it.
I don’t think I’ve ever had caramel covered cake but it sounds good.
@No More and QB
bleh to the Red V…bleh. :-X
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:28 pm
@Mik: Not stalking. LOL
Double bleh and Mik’s wedding “fart” on Red Velvet.
I’m outtie 5000 yaw…. Peace. (where did the 5000 in that phrase come from anyway?) I check back in later for the answer.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Ms Dev being I dont know how to explain being in love but I know loving someone is that you care for the deeply and they mean a lot to you… like you love them like a brother/sister… vs. the i wanna make babies and spend my life with you “in love” i guess?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:30 pm
@Cuzzo
“too cold for the park…u don’t wanna go to the mall with me (trust)…so, bar? Comeback was telling me about Canadian ice wine which I still haven’t tried.”
Ok the bar then. You want to sit at a booth, table, or at the bar. You want some wings?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:31 pm
and can someone tell me why this man wants me to book him a hotel room and gives me the debit card for the account that doesnt have money in it instead of the card for the account that does?
and furthermore can someone tell me why i am even doing this?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Ms. Devereaux, I think it is very possible with someone for a long time but never fall in love with them. To me just loving someone is genuinely caring about that person, their well being! Pretty much like how you love your bestfriend. Being in love with someone is a combination of not only this philia (friendship) love but also is eros as well… to me being in love is more intimate and possesses unconditional qualities.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Nicki, I told him he needs to find a recipe quickly because he is in the South and that needs to be one of the staples in his establishment! LOL
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:36 pm
@Humble
at the bar is fine…wings, yes please.
@QB
“why i am even doing this?”
I think you know the answer already.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:37 pm
@Cuzzo
“my aunt in Antigua bakes a good yellow cake…no icing/topping needed. I needa get that recipe come to think of it. ”
When you make it send it to Detroit.
@Ms Devereaux
“What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?”
When you love them you necessarily don’t like them. When you’re in love you like them and love them. LOL
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:39 pm
@qb:
“and can someone tell me why this man wants me to book him a hotel room and gives me the debit card for the account that doesnt have money in it instead of the card for the account that does?
and furthermore can someone tell me why i am even doing this?”
KICK THAT MAN TO THE CURB PLEASE … You dont need to be doing this ? I have no clue why you are .. but you need to STOP .. take a look at yourself and your actions and figure out HOW oh HOW you got yourself into this situation ASAP
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:40 pm
@Cuzzo
“at the bar is fine…wings, yes please. ”
Humble – How many wings do you want?
Cuzzo – 45
Humble – WTF? Are you serious?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:40 pm
@Ms. D
yes…that can happen – it’s that brotherly/sisterly love. I can’t explain the diff…u just feel it.
I think you can be in love with someone and not love them also (love is unconditional). You can fall in and out of love (the inlove love) quickly…it’s all I love you’s one day…I hate that MF the next.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Cuzzo i think you are right… i have this false hope that he is going to magically turn into the best friend he was before hooking up with his current girlfriend and we are going to go back to having out “guys nights out” and sitting around his living room with his roommate getting stupid until all hours of the night watching Flight of the Concords and playing Beautiful Katamari on x-box…
but i think we all know none of that is going to happen because 1. he has changed too much to go back 2. i dont get stupid like that anymore 3. yeah… false hopes…
I am likin ya’lls version of keep your lady friends and dont be as close to dudes better and better every day…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:42 pm
re canadian ice wine http://001wine.stores.yahoo.net/pricel.html
that is my favorite. Its a little cheaper at the wine and spirit store..but see if you can find like a tasting with all the local liquor store vendors (they usually do them at hotels) and sample there.
ask for ANY dessert wine. i think you will like it.
@ Q..sounds like the person wants an “out” if they cancel. usually cards get charged if you don’t show. but why not just make sure he/she aint gonna cancel and book it with a good card?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:44 pm
One of the Veeps of our company is sitting across from me with one of my co-workers learning about our Audits… Yippeee!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:46 pm
@comeback he isnt going to cancel. He is too excited about going to this wedding, in another city, w/o his girlfriend to cancel.
He just gets “stupid” too much so doesnt have too many brain cells left to think about these things… i think…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:47 pm
@Humble
“Humble – How many wings do you want?
Cuzzo – 45
Humble – WTF? Are you serious?”
why do I want 45 wings mister? no cake for you! *snatch*
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:50 pm
you love someone because of their perfection
you fall in love with someone because of their imperfection
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:52 pm
@ whyso …. I’m feeling your difference between loving someone and being in love.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:54 pm
@cuzzo
“why do I want 45 wings mister? no cake for you! *snatch*”
Ok, ok, ok. I need that cake. I’m sorry. Are 8 wings cool?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 2:57 pm
FU@CK!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:57 pm
@Why so
uh…what? that ain’t makin no sense to me homey. bring it back (come rewind). and aren’t u supposed to be working?
upon pondering your example, i’m thinking the opposite. you love someone bc of imperfections…that unconditional
and fall in love with someone because w/imperfections…that cloud
and when the smoke clears the love is here to stay, the in love…well it ain’t cloudy no more so u realize hey, i really didn’t love that person, or that love was temporary.
more like Humble’s response.
“When you love them you necessarily don’t like them. When you’re in love you like them and love them.” u’re all in love and liking them, then u stop liking them..where did the love go?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:58 pm
@nickiesunshine
“I’m outtie 5000 yaw…. Peace. (where did the 5000 in that phrase come from anyway?) I check back in later for the answer.”
I dont know where it came from but that is what we use to say back in like 90-91. If you listen to Public Enemy or Ice Cube you will hear them say it.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Thanks everyone for your feedback.
@Why So: I love your response.
@Holly: to me being in love is more intimate and possesses unconditional qualities…so TRUE.
@Cuzzo:You can fall in and out of love (the inlove love) quickly…it’s all I love you’s one day…I hate that MF the next…I agree.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:01 pm
“and fall in love with someone because w/imperfections”
I jacked that up….it should say bc they lack imperfections, that person can do no wrong…and when they do…it’s cute.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:02 pm
@Comeback – can you change the comments so we can edit them?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:03 pm
@ hummy..thats comin in the next CBG release. stay tuned.
@ ms dev…i was gonna answer but i was gonna get some more coffee to ponder..sorry…you know why has the poetry for it.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:05 pm
@Humble
better had. lol.
8 is fine. are u gonna eat too or just watch me?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:06 pm
$64.00 for a 3.5 star hilton in downtown milwaukee… why cant I find deals like this when the rooms are for me?
my co-worker says i should feel “special” he trusts me w/ his Credit Card info and all that other stuff… not buyin it.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:06 pm
“@Why so
uh…what? that ain’t makin no sense to me homey. bring it back (come rewind).
”
@ Cuzzo…LOL…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:11 pm
i have pondered both Hummy and Why;s , i think i would rather somebody fall in love with me WITH my inperfections thats the most meaningful and sustaining..
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:16 pm
@comeback
“i have pondered both Hummy and Why;s , i think i would rather somebody fall in love with me WITH my inperfections thats the most meaningful and sustaining..”
When you get that type of love you love and like the other person.
@cuzzo
“better had. lol.
8 is fine. are u gonna eat too or just watch me?”
I’ll have some. How is your drink?
“
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:20 pm
“my co-worker says i should feel “special” he trusts me w/ his Credit Card info and all that other stuff… not buyin it.”
even in my cloud of sickness.. i’m not buyin it either..
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:22 pm
“you fall in love with someone because of their imperfection”
ok, after pondering more and taking Comeback’s response into effect…I get this one. when ure in love with someone their imperfections are more liable to be cute (as i said b4) and tolerable. like when she scratches her throat from the inside – u not gonna be like STFU MF (works cite Jac) when ure in love with them. u might be like I got something for that itch baby
*bom chica wah wah*
I don’t get the love someone because of perfection – pobody’s nerfect ;-p
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:25 pm
i think why’s meanings are different for both terms
love vs. in-love ..the prior is more superficial the latter is the substance..hummy and you cuzzo have reversed the meaning.
i think.??
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:29 pm
LOL @ Cuzzo for *bom chica wah wah*
But you are right…. it’s like loving that childhood teddy with the missing eye and half the stuffing gone…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:29 pm
@Comeback
u think love is superficial and in love is substantial? que?
See i’m thinking about love how I love my best friend, my brother, my momma – those are more substance based relationships to me.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:30 pm
@Comeback & Cuzzo
“love vs. in-love ..the prior is more superficial the latter is the substance..”
This is what I meant. Did I have it reversed?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:33 pm
@Humble
“I’ll have some. How is your drink?”
I dunno…these are kinda good…i might just let u lick my fingers when im done. u don’t eat meat anyway…*snatch*
drinks ok…i’ll have another.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:38 pm
“@Comeback & Cuzzo
“love vs. in-love ..the prior is more superficial the latter is the substance..”
This is what I meant. Did I have it reversed?
”
i dunno i think i just confused my own @zz LOL
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:39 pm
wait…a…minute….
i think i get the superficial vs substance. I think i would more equate the former to circumstancial instead of or in addition to superfiacial (ie, they are related to you, of u just knew the person for a real long time)
I can see clearly now
the rain is gone
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Thanks Jolie.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:44 pm
@Cuzzo
“I dunno…these are kinda good…i might just let u lick my fingers when im done. u don’t eat meat anyway…*snatch*
drinks ok…i’ll have another.”
I might get to lick your fingers? hmmmm. *Orders another round of drinks*
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Ok, I think I caught up…
@QB: Quit Playing the fool for these fools
Whyso kills me always making me think!
@Holly: He would sell out of that pie quicker than he’d get it on the shelves!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:52 pm
loving is something you do.
being in love is something you are.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:55 pm
@Why So
is u smoking? lol.
that’s the finite version of love (an act) and in love (a state of being)
might as well say i kicked a dog (an act) it made me happy (a state of being)
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Humble and Cuzzo, you guys are nuts!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:57 pm
@Comeback
if we haven’t killed it with our responses already, I smell a successful post on love vs. in love – another one compelled by Ms.D
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I do think that is a good post. Any takers???
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Hey kids…ok I love you all…
Somebody pass me some damned chicken and just give me a bite of cake cause sharing is caring
Now the deeper stuff I gotta get back to later cause I got to do this voting thing!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Can I do love vs. in love????
I have a great idea!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Why is Purple Rain on??? He’s doing this song about Nicki Grind… LOL. Hand me a pole!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:00 pm
@Nicki
“you guys are nuts!”
what? he’s helping me be un-bored and we’re setting the example that a celib and a normy (me ;-p) can hang out w/o any one feeling dirty and ashamed afterwards (unless that’s what you want Humble)
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:01 pm
lolol….i was getting all philosophical
the world is working for me…figured i might be on a roll
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Go for it Jac
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:03 pm
“what? he’s helping me be un-bored and we’re setting the example that a celib and a normy (me ;-p) can hang out w/o any one feeling dirty and ashamed afterwards (unless that’s what you want Humble)”
Not you saying it like a chinaman and a muslim hanging out together. LOL
Whyso, I’m gonna need you to get with the program and put a pic (I know you wanna stay all mysterious) or something up for decoration.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Now, I’m outty…til I get home
*hugs* to my yayas
*dueces* the the ayays
and Humble think about which finger you wanna lick first
(i’m bad nicki, i know)
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:04 pm
sounds like why should write it j/k…yeah Jac why don’t you run wit it…i don’t think i could write that post sober and in the next week or so LOL…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:05 pm
@Cuzzo
“can hang out w/o any one feeling dirty and ashamed afterwards (unless that’s what you want Humble)”
*sigh* Oh woe is me. *puts head down in shame* I think I want to feel real dirty and ashamed. That lets me know what I did I enjoyed.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:05 pm
@Humble: re: cuzzo: Be strong, comrade! LOL
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Oh, that was Darling Nikki… that song is sexy as hell… I guess I never paid attention to the lyrics considering I was what, 9, when this movie came out????
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:11 pm
@why so…..
Again I’m feeling what you’re saying….. With my ex when we were together he had went out of town for two weeks. When he came back he was on his way over to my house and I just couldn’t contain my emotions. It was like I was nervous and excited because I was so happy that I was about to see him even though we had talked all the time and it didn’t seem like he was gone. And I definitely believe that my actions at that time were a result of me being in love with him and not just because I was loving him….Goes back to what you were saying about “being in love …something that you are…..”
@ cuzzo…. It makes sense to me.. Mainly because my feelings of anxiety at the time weren’t something that I could control. Even if I wanted to just sit there and be calm because I knew he was on his way. I couldn’t. You know how your knee can start shaking if you’re nervous and you want it to stop. You stop it but before you know you’re back to letting it shake again….. To me loving someone is natural but being in love that’s a whole nother feeling that you just can’t control.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Random Rant… but why did one of my co-workers (caucasian) come by my desk and started doing the running man??
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:15 pm
@80’s: Man. I know that nervous feeling.. for me, it’s always my stomach… it’s just not right… then I pace the house, even if we are just on the phone. LOL
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:17 pm
@Holly: LMAO! The running man??? Stuff like that makes me want to give side eyes (workcite: mik) Is that cause I’m black????
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:20 pm
dang I am still havin a hard time with this “in love” question… i think a lot of it has to do with how you personally feel about the person and i really dont think you know you are in love until it happens… or what being in love means to you until it happens…
and i dont think you can truly be in love with someone else until you love yourself. I think you have to love yourself first because otherwise all of the feelings you have for the other person could really be you trying to love yourself…
thats my philosophical answer for the day.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:22 pm
@Holly b/c said co-worker has been getting a little “stupid” on their lunch hours…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:25 pm
QB and Nicki the sad thing is that’s how she normally is… EVERYDAY!!
she is a recovering alcoholic and cokehead!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:26 pm
The funny thing is she let me record her and I put her on my facebook!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:29 pm
@Holly: WOW… you guys are wildin’ over there. LOL.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Girl that’s what happens when it’s the end of the day and Halloween is tomorrow…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Holly… even if she isnt drinking and doing coke anymore… i truly believe to act like that she has to be getting stupid on her lunches… no sane, non-messed-up (messed-up=”stupid” like Snoop Dogg get’s “Stupid”) person would do things like this.
and let themselves be recorded.
then again she is white and white people do some really stupid things.
And I can say that…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Getting ready to go to class. I’ll check back in with you guys a lil later.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:31 pm
LMFAO @ QB!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 5:36 pm
p.s. in all of my days of “getting stupid” i have never done the running man at a co-workers desk out of no where
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:05 pm
“in all of my days of “getting stupid” i have never done the running man at a co-workers desk out of no where”
I think I will try that tomorrow what the hell its friday, I need to pick an unsuspecting victim
hmmmm
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Hehe…getting stupid..wow I ain’t never been stupid, lol
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Jac you at work?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Jac you have never been stupid like Snoop Dogg gets stupid?
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Yes to Mikki and No to QB
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:22 pm
no as in you have never been stupid? Thats awesome. I use to be able to say the same thing… i wish i still could.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:28 pm
QB:I might have been stupidly drunk
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Jac that’s acceptable. i was last night. i was very gone last night off one drink… sad huh? thats what happens when you drink after not eating all day and not drinking in over a year though.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:32 pm
wow…. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/crime/2008/10/30/kenney.boy.attacks.cop.wmc wow….
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:39 pm
@QB
I seen that earlier and I got pissed…. Who teaches a 3 year old to fight a cop? I mean seriously. She opened the door as if she wanted him to help out…. The lil boy was probably in there talking smack but the childproof locks prevented him from getting out..lol That was a damn shame!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Aint that a shame 80’s???? I saw that and I could not believe it. When I read the headline i thought maybe the boy jumped out on his own but NOPE she opened the door right up for him to jump out… so sad.
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Anesidora tweet just reminded me that we havent talked about Halloween on here yet…
is anyone else dressing up? going out? big parties?
i’m gettin up EARLY tomorrow to work early so I can be downtown and dressed up by 8pm
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I am going out! We’re having a Mardi Gras style Halloween parade
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Oooo Jac that sounds fun. I am going to dress up as a slutty devil… it should be a lot of fun!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 7:43 pm
lalalala.a…
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Yeah Jac that’s me right now too…
well actually I am working on something to prove a point and trying to lower my blood preasure after telling this gentleman he has to stop yelling at my coworkers
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Beat his a$s
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I’m not going out for Halloween but I’m going to my parents house to pass out candy, then I’m going to come home and watch A&E, they play scary movies all day! Halloween is my favorite!
Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Nicki that sounds so fun! well except the scary movie part. haha. i miss passing out candy to kids…