Amelita Galli-Curci, Italian operatic coloratura soprano, typing on an old Typewriter
Forgive me treehouse, today I am working (like actually doing some work) and writing those hard hitting questions for Pasha Stocking to answer.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The Comeback Girl Style Watch: Man Cleavage
- Tyson Beckford And His Decollete
This trend actually started hitting runways in late 2007 and early 2008. The street and the runway are always a couple of years behind, usually with various modifications. But I never, in a million years would have thought urban black men would be embracing plunging necklines. I actually think the slight V-neck is really sexy on a man, but a plunging neckline where his decollete is exposed?
The Comeback Girl can not endorse the look.
spotted on Ishea
Monday, June 8, 2009
Pasha Stocking Talks To The Comeback Girl
Pasha Stocking Billboard Job Ad Placed In Bridgeport CT
Many of you know that Pasha Stocking discovered the post that I had written about the billboard job ad she had placed in Bridgeport, CT. I think most of us were impressed by her nerve, her sheer chutzpah. Many of us were puzzled at her seeming lack of focus in “her targeted ad” better known as her resume. I even questioned how many prospective employers were in fact driving near Bridgeport CT, a town not necessarily known for its high employment rate and above average salaries. Some of us also were floored at the rumored cost of the billboard, a whopping 7000 dollars.
Well, Pasha wants to set the record straight. She wrote to me yesterday agreeing to answer some questions from the treehouse. And with her permission, I am reposting an excerpt of her personal response to me.
…I know people all over the place have had many differences of opinions about what I did, but what I really don’t understand through his whole thing is why some people are so negatively affected about
how I decided to go about looking for a job. I thought people would be happy someone actually wanted to work so they didn’t rely on the hard earned tax dollars of our citizens, I guess I could be Octomom
and keep having babies that I couldn’t afford to have and she is becoming a celebrity for being a breeding {explitive}.
So I want the treehouse to help me interview Pasha. If you don’t remember her or her website, take a look here.
If you had to ask her some questions, what would they be? Has your mind changed at all about the way in which she went about finding a job? If you could place a billboard ad for a your own service, skill or even to gain employment, would you NOW? What if the cost was drastically cheaper? How confident are in the US’ job creation for the rest of 2009? Given Pasha’s situation, what would you have done differently?
Friday, June 5, 2009
Gratitude Friday: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting
Kung Fu with David Carradine
“I Remember” (to the tune of Joe Brainard)
I remember when Kung Fu (the reruns) came on right after Soul Train from 1982-1985. When people die, those in which you loved to watch when you were growing up, you’re reminded to be grateful for everyday because tomorrow is not promised.
gratitude?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Dearest Monifa, Your Son IS NOT LIL’ WAYNE
To the tune of TMCY:
Dearest Monifa, (I think that’s how you spell your name. Please excuse me if I’m missng an apostrophe, a colon, a hyphen, an accent aigu ´or grave `)
Let me cut to the chase. You’ve been my next door neighbor for nearly three years. You moved in with a “major siddity chip” on your shoulder because the house you rented was “just too small” coming from “seven acres, a pool and a husband”. In exchange for the latter you became a single mother, a renter, and a coddling wife to your two “little husbands” sons.
I found it strange, when out of the blue you asked me to call you at work should I see any weird activities of an 18 and a 20 year old. I’m thinking when another neighbor told you that you have people in and out of your house like a 7-11, you figured you needed an extra pair of eyes. Why don’t you do like my single mother did back in the day. When she smelled trouble she was somewhere collecting teenage intelligence and planning SURPRISE “pop-ins home” and “drivebys”.
I have about 13 years on your eldest son, but even I know they both need a dam!n job. In fact, I think I shocked you when I replied “calling you WAS NOT my job, and that I would not being doing it”. I work. And I am not about to spy on your lazy unmotivated children and inform you of their comings and goings. Hillary was right, it does “take a village to raise a child”, but the proverb assumes the kids are are putting good life skills in their tool belt and not sagging drawls.
Curiously, it seems like a recent trend for black young adult males is to sit their azz’s at home in the summer and even during the school year, particularly for middle class black parents and single mothers. Do you think your boys are too good to work while you groom them to be great fu!ck ups little husbands for you. You are making them irresponsible black men for society and later, other women. In all my years on this earth do you know I’ve only heard ONE mother say (two weeks ago) that she’d like for her young boys to be great HUSBANDS and FATHERS and she with the help of her husband were raising them to be such? Did you just have male children to take the place of your own failed romantic relationships and marriage? Are you protecting them from some imaginary pain the world is waiting to inflict upon them in your paranoid mind? Or are you just a lazy a!ss accommodating parent who can’t see what she’s doing to her male children? Please don’t give me any made up racial evidence that black men are an endangered species and you are some quasi suburban “wildlife conservationist” protecting your sons from the boogie man that is real life.
I bet if you had a daughter she’d be out there working at 14. You’d probably give her hel! about staying home a week after school let out for the summer. I’m not projecting. LOL. But when I was both your son’s age, I was in college and I even had a part time job and every summer I was grilled about my future, my five year plan, my ten year plan, my back up plan, my plan A, plan B, plan C, plan D to the second power…you get the point.
And it served me well. I’m not perfect. Hell I didn’t even hit all my plans, but I’m still working on it. I’m also glad I am able to detect and dodge the 30 year old black male version of your children.
P.S. tell your kids to pull their pants up. And encourage them to find better men to model their style of dress besides Lil’ Wayne.
P.P.S Your sons are the primary reason I hate dreads.
Namaste,
The Comeback Girl
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Token & The Designer Negro Backlash?
"Lincoln Perry was an intelligent and erudite man - so much so that he wrote for The Chicago Defender, the country's premiere black newspaper. Stepin' Fetchit (the name he took when he first became a solo act) was a character he developed - a shuffling Negro put upon by the white man with a physicality matched by none. He was so "into" his character that he would only be interviewed as Fetchit, and instructed all interviewers to translate his answers into his patois before they were put into print...He remains polarizing today - some see him as a genius and others see him as an insult to the African-American race. It can't be denied he was extremely talented - he would never had made it that far if he weren't. But, first, he was a Key West kid whose daddy worked in a cigar factory. "
I am obsessed with and loathe ”the black ’siddity’ establishment” all at the same time. Somewhere in my dreams I long to be a folksy black socialite. Close your eyes-for a quick second. Think Genevieve Jones plus Desirée Rogers (add 25 pounds on Genevieve’s side) meets Chelsea Handler sprinkled with a little Martha Stewart’s gift of craft and gardening esthetic (hopefully everyone was able to visualize all that). Raise your hand if you weren’t.
That’s me in 10 years.
I was having dinner with my cousin last night. She’s visiting on some high profile arbitration zippy doo da. And she mentioned being at an event where she was the only black person and the CEO waived her over to meet his friends.
Me: So basically you were the Louis Vuitton of token Negros?
Her: I’ll be your token if the money is right (paraphrased). (laughs)
Me: (lightbulb for a blog post)
This got me thinking about how the mastered art of being a ‘Designer Token Negro’ is somehow dying slowly on the vine or maybe its becoming increasingly pervasive.
How To Be A Designer Token Negro:
A). Steer clear of ALL iterations of black stereotypical foods at EACH AND EVERY social outing with your white peers and higher ups:This includes watermelon, collard greens, hog moss, pig feet, chitterlings (see. chitlins), ramen noodles, kool-laid, fried chicken, fried gizzards, pork and beans (also minimizes gastrointestinal issues), macaroni and cheese, and black eye peas. There may be times when you are craving a watermelon martini at Legal Seafood and your with your department on an unofficial “team building” outing. Say No. In addition, don’t be bamboozled should someone at the office decide the latest Thai-Soul fusion restaurant is where your team will meet for lunch and get fueled for innovation. So, if you see an egg roll wrapped in a turnip or a mustard green and garnished with some pork rinds, suppress your negroidan and pretend like you don’t even see it.
B) Keep all office slang to a minimum, with the exception of air quotes for the “slam dunks”:It is not advised to use slang in the work place. Also be careful not to refer to either of your parents as Ma, Momma, Daddy, etc. (ie “Dave, Big Momma really inspired my latest idea on revenue generation for this widget”) or “Phil, what are you doing this weekend. Me? I’m taking my daddy fishing.” All parental references should be kept to: Mother, Father, Dad, Mom, Grandfather, and Grandmother.
Now there will be times where you hit a goal or deliverable out of the park. Office slang can be used as a quotation mark of sorts. It’s definitive. So when you have really done well on a project feel free to say: “Oh, yes Stan, I ain’t staying late today, I just made y’all 45 million dollars up in here. Technically you SHOULD air quote “ain’t”, ”y’all” and “up in here”. But money is green. And I find that when lots of it is being made, companies seem to forget about urban slang and your subjects and verbs not agreeing or being well conjugated.
C) Get some designer white friends:Many of you will genuinely have white friends you love and adore. Get some more. It never hurts to have extra.
“negrodian” wk cite: Wendy Williams
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Controversy
I wrote something so controversial last night that I’m afraid to post today. And since I love my job, I would like to take the option to not post it. Perhaps when a little time starts to separate my “satire”, I will unveil my ridiculousness.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The Oaths Of The Comeback Girl
- Vintage Girl Scouts circa 1940s
Assuming you haven’t been having A.D.D attacks while reading this blog, you know that I, The Comeback Girl, love having the treehouse agree to pacts and oaths. I love having treehouse meetings. I love sugar cookies. I love the associated handbooks and codes of conduct on this blog. Please note that “codes of conduct” is tongue and cheek. As much as I love having “meetings” and treehouse preambles. I LOATH RULES, especially ones that kill candor.
If this blog is about anything – its about honesty. I’ve drafted some codes of conduct for myself.
1. Its ok to like who I like (and love who I love) and have a reason for it, or even none at all: Yesterday evening a poster left a comment that found my “not wanting to date Nigerians” “disheartening”. I’m fascinated by those who are only compelled to leave comments when they are “calling you out” or telling you they won’t be reading ever again. But this blog will have opinions. People all over this great world, love who they love and date who they date for a reason. My “new found love” of parts of Africa has nothing to do with my preference to rule out a particular country when it comes to my gentlemen callers/dates and lovers. It’s my right. And if a person tells you they don’t have a preference or EVEN A PREDJUDICE when it comes to dating someone, they are lying (birth home included).
2. No More Bullsh!t Posts: That’s right. No more musings. Meanderings. If I don’t have anything compelling to write about that strikes my fancy and excites me, I shall not post. Its becoming a waste of creative energy and space.
3. It’s Time To Get MORE Personal: If I may toot my own horn (beep…beep), I think over the last two years or so, I have gotten extremely revealing. Particularly in the beginning. Pulled back. And added more. Blogging is THE BEST form of therapy known to man. Whoever said it wasn’t lacked tons of depth and selfawareness. As I’ve written many times before, blogging is where honest people speak to and through their work, while dealing with their own personal shyt. It’s great. I never said I was perfect, but my a!ss is growing and changing.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Musing Mondays: Harry Is Hotter Than Will?
Prince Harry In Iraq
I get these random thoughts, as most people do. And I wanted to jot them down as they came to me this weekend. What were yours, let’s discuss.
The Comeback Girl’s Most Random Thoughts This Past Weekend
1. Prince Harry Got Hot Overnight: Its no secret that I heart everything thing British, especially the royal family. But I am fascinated at how Prince Harry got fine like overnight amdist Prince William’s ongoing hot status for more than a decade. Prince Will was the British Hottie favorite. Not now. It could be that Prince Will going prematurely bald, but Harry is such a fine wild card rebel.
2. Danielle Staub Of Housewives’ Is My Most Embarrassing Obsession : I can NOT believe that I organize my gym schedule around Housewives Of New Jersey. I promised myself that I wouldn’t become addicted to the “big hair mob chronicles”, but I just can’t look away.
A mug shot of Danielle "Beverly Merril" 1986
3. I Have Sworn Off All Nigerian Men: This sounds terrible, but I met a Nigerian guy this weekend and I immediately x’d him in my mind. On paper he’s a catch: an engineer, mid 30s, ambitious, well traveled. The list is long.
Its a “No Deal” that’s been on my list for a while now. Why? I don’t know it just seems like most Nigerian men are unsavory, have some email phishing sceme up their sleeves, or are amassing tons of women to “fun” or “wife”. Or just live out the “slutty American Black woman sterotype.” This is one “No Deal” that I’m not moving up or down or off the list. I think people have “No Deals” all the time. The ones we don’t verbalize are usually the most “rediculous”.
tis all for now, what are some of your random musings, those in which you had this weekend?
